Well, here’s the deal, I may have overreacted yesterday about a lot of things. I’m human, and its one of my many flaws. I can be fairly dramatic when something comes out of left field that I didn’t even see coming. But I do know now, that my accounts have been compromised by my ex, so I had the fun and tedious job of changing all my passwords. It doesn’t pay to use the same passwords for years, I can see that now. So after that debacle, I realized I reacted irrationally. I should have done things differently.
For example, yesterday I was being cussed out on text by my ex about some issue or another, and I handled the situation properly. Now mind you, I did not provoke this attack, nor did I do anything. I was actually just minding my own business, not having talked to her in quite awhile. So she did this on her own accord, possibly to make herself feel better.
If you’re in a similar situation with anyone who starts to cuss you out, and insult you, and try to make you feel less than you normally do, for no apparent reason, they’re in a vulnerable spot. They’re trying to control and manipulate you in some way, and you’re goal is to not get suckered in, and to not try to control them either. You just want to keep it rational, because at this point, the other person is far from rational. So what should you do?
Talk calmly to them, and let them know you appreciate that they’re upset, but only if you mean it. They’re in a tough spot, they’re acting like the child, and they’re taking it out on you. You have to remind yourself that you have no control over how they react towards you. If they hate you, if they’re angry with you, its their problem, not yours. But you should be considerate of their problems, and kindly let them know that you can’t do anything about it or that its out of your hands. Its difficult enough as it is trying to reason with someone who’s already so upset, and has already insulted you. You technically owe them nothing, especially when they don’t even have the courtesy to talk to you in a civilized manner. But what will you achieve from attacking back? Nothing, but an argument that will get you nowhere.
Remember, you’re not trying to make them feel small, or return the insults, you’re just trying to calm them down and not give in. And even if you have to give in for the greater good, it may be for the best. That person is suffering more than you are, and they’re struggling more than you are. That’s why they attacked you. So take it slow, don’t lose your cool, and know that if you’re happy and you’re good, that’s all that matters.
I forgot that for a moment, because my ex is good at making me lose my cool. I am happy, and I’m glad I have what I got, and I’m lucky to be where I am. And no one, not even an angry, troubled woman, can take that away from me.
