Who knew that this would be so hard? It’s just coming up with something to write about every day. Well, I quickly learned that this would be difficult when I was in the shower this morning and I came up with a brilliant thing to write about. I even had points I wanted to make, and it was going to be profound and interesting! So I thought. Once I got out of the shower, I checked my phone, and the idea just dissipated in a cloud of smoke.
I used to like to write stories for my friends. Well, I’ll admit, I was never a good writer. I’ve seen some of my old doc files and I cringe. But, my friends were obviously kind, and encouraged this outlet. I wrote short stories, poems, and the makings of novels in high school, and I was my harshest critic. It was all bad. Yet, now, I still believe I’m a better writer than I am anything else when it comes to expressing myself. Which is surprising, as I often fight with my brain telling me some negative thing or another. I don’t know if that’s depression or me just being lame, I’ve only been diagnosed by one therapist, and I feel I should have gotten a second opinion.
WRITTEN BY Dave the Drummer
A lot of people have called me a hoarder. I don’t see myself as a hoarder. More a collector. I just happen to collect basically everything. Musical equipment, broken electronic stuff, toy ducks, trash, dead batteries, costumes, comic books, cigarette butts, whatever that shit under my couch is, photos of people I don’t know that I find in the street, I collect it all. People get weirded out about my collection of things that used to be attached to me, like hair. Look, you guys, I’m gonna do something with it once I figure out what I can use it for. No, I don’t have too many pizza boxes, records or empty cans. If I had too many I wouldn’t keep getting more.
I’ve always had this issue of not throwing things away. When I do it’s instantly regretted and I’ll almost always figure out what I could have used it for. Like this little metal disk with a small hole in the middle, I could really use that to make my robot suit! That’s why I have all this other broken shit. I know I should just ditch all this crap. I’d love to live light, minimalistic. In “He Died With A Felafel In His Hand”, Danny has a box, his typewriter and a guitar. It takes me a van to haul all this shit. I live on the fifth floor, and
dreading moving out because it was Hell bringing it all back down. You have any idea how much a box of 150 12″ records weighs? It’s a lot. I have six of them.
I also have empty wrappers, boxes and assorted junk. I dunno why I have a problem getting rid of them. Possibly laziness. Laziness mixed with an odd fear of losing anything I have some sort of attachment to. I mean, that wrapper served a purpose. Now it’s just kind of there and that’s sad. Papers that I drew one line on seven years ago and still have because it was going to become art but I fucked up.
I’m not gonna lie, when I’m in a relationship I don’t collect nearly as much. Bringing a chick here will be preceded by a massive fucking clean up where I all of a sudden discover I really don’t need the vast, vast majority of my collection. A huge collection of effects pedals is kind of impressive, I huge collection of sandwich bags is a little less awe-inspiring, at least in the same way. More like “I am in awe of how much crap you have pretty much everywhere. I gotta go, now. If you manage to find your phone under something, don’t call me.”
I like the “Lived-In” look, but where’s the line? Is a jacket thoughtlessly thrown over a chair enough? How about that, plus a couple of unwashed mugs?
Fuck, I really need to buy a mop……………..
I stumble about this article on Psychology Today (link below), and it seems this must be the month about break ups, because there’s a lot of articles on breaking up. But this made me think, and it made me realize even more, that relationships are not easy, and there are a million ways to handle a break up. Now I’m not going to go through every situation that was there, if you’re interested, please see the link below to read how other’s have handled a break up or in their words, when you’re partner is “Missing in Action”. But I can relate to some of what was said, and how I’ve experienced some of those experiences.
A sad reality is, is that we’re totally unaware of ourselves. We don’t know what we do to ourselves most of the time, and we don’t realize how we impact other people. We’re selfish beings, only out to fill the void within ourselves as opposed to trying to fill the void in others. And that’s fine, because as a woman once said to me, “Why would I stay in a relationship if I’m miserable, but it makes you happy?” That’s a great question, because you should not expect anyone to stay with you if you’re the only one happy in the relationship, but as mentioned in Psychology Today, sometimes we take a step back in relationships before taking those steps forward. Doubt is fine, uncertainty is okay, but should every bump in the road constitute a break up?
Now the scenario where she tells me that…uhh…miserable phrase, is an extreme, and obviously she was unhappy, but some people are capable of loving again after awhile. Love is cyclical sometimes. We go through those highs and lows, and can go back to those highs again. Of course, this is all over the course of time, which is why some people who are willing to work it out, and to power through the tough time, can have long happy relationships. This doesn’t apply to everyone, and I think people don’t try to make things work, but if you’re a loving person who wants to make the love work, it can happen.
I find it funny how adamant people are against long relationships. More and more people cheat, or can’t stand the intimacy or whatever, and prefer to just cut it short. Divorce is so easy nowadays, making commitment seem like a really cute little idea as opposed to something to take seriously. Loyalty, honor, respect, all just filler words in today’s society in relationship to relationships. I don’t know what happened to make people so cynical, but I think it has a lot to do with people’s growing selfishness.
Now I’m not saying that once you’re in a relationship, you have to stay in it forever, but I don’t think people even try to make it last a long time. And people date or are a couple way too often! More and more women I talk to say that they’ve only been single for a few months or something and they quickly dive into something else. What the hell is that?! Why aren’t you allowing yourself to personally grow? Why do you have to keep yourself chained to someone elese? I think people really don’t realize the value of being single, or personally growing so that when you’re ready to have that one long term relationship, you know EXACTLY what you want, EXACTLY what you’re looking for and you’re not just going into things all willy nilly.
So I can appreciate why people react the way they do when they get dumped. How some internalize, and others go out and sleep around. It’s not an easy situation for anyone, and it’s because people don’t take the time to shop around, to test drive and just jump in. I think this is something I’ve been saying a lot because I think failed relationships are avoidable. You don’t have to find yourself in a place where someone says “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” People don’t realize that relationships take work, take effort. People are so absorbed in the honeymoon period, the bubbly feeling that the moment it goes away, they think it’s over. No, that’s just the beginning, where that bubbly, butterflies can happen again.
There’s that whole comfort period, that zone when people don’t try anymore to make a coupling work. There’s this feeling that they can relax, not try to woo the person they love and just…slip into routine. Just stop! Why would you want to make your relationship boring? Why are you just being lazy and not reminding your partner about how much you love them? Did it all become difficult to do? Are you just tired of showing how you feel? Did you run out of ideas? Okay, that’s possible…I’ll give you that, but did you think it’s all good now that you two are together? No!
Don’t go into your separate corners, doing your own thing all the time. You can do your own thing, have your own set of friends, all that stuff, but when you’re together, don’t make it a she watches TV while I play WoW. Share those experiences together, find things to share together. You two are together for a reason, you have similar interests, similar hobbies, otherwise why the hell are you together? Is there a synonmym for together?
Okay, I’m done. I ranted enough. Break ups are a part of life, being dumped is a part of life, but I think it’s just a little TOO common, a little TOO normal, and a little TOO easy. Read the article…well, you read a lot here so save it for later? But I think you’ll realize, much like I did, that relationships are hard, worth the work, and not given enough time. People give up too easily sometimes. Don’t let that be you.
Hello listeners, thank you for also being a part of the blog as well. This place keeps you up to date on the podcasts and whatnot. And here’s the update and some news. So Dave the Drummer is currently having computer problems. He’s been having them for awhile, and I’ve been trying to get a hold of him, but I knew he would be having problems as he warmed me that his laptop was taking a crap on him. this is highly unfortunate, and will mean one of two things. Either A: I do this week’s GLR alone and put it up soon. It’ll be half an hour long, and well, it’ll be me like the old days. I can also do B: Coming soon is the return of A Critical Moment of Awesome, which will hopefully get more exposure thanks to my excessive promoting, and…have a CO-HOST! Said Co-Host, should the stars align, will be ready to start a show as early as today and I can introduce her and she can cohost with me on Geek Love Radio. Wow, I’m being grammatically evil and having really long sentences.
So, please welcome my new cohost, to be announced on either Geek Love Radio or A Critical Moment of Awesome, and be prepared for a fun time and now…a female perspective. WOO! And expect those shows to come around the bend in the next few days.
I also would like to one day participate in Quiddich. Yes, the Harry Potter “sport”. So for your amusement…