And now for something MILDLY different.

Hi everybody. (hi, Dr. Nick). Well, I am in a bit of a predicament. For those who read the blog and listen to the show, I ask for your assistance to spread the word out about Geek Love Radio and Sincere Sarcasm. I appreciate you listening to the show and reading the blog and would love your feedback and would love to continue to get the word out about this blog and podcast and share this with others.

Thanks for helping me help you, and I hope that as you try to help me get to where I want to be, I can help you do the same.

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Okay, a little off topic here.

I like to complain about how quickly smartphones are evolving and becoming more and more sophisticated. They’re mini computers in your pocket, and I don’t know how I lived without my Droid. But that’s beside the point, I just like talking about technology, and I may have to intersperse those kind of posts with ones about relationship, because this is really something that’s on my mind. So the people who are bored already, I apologize.

So, I don’t like Windows Vista. Personally, its too bloated, too slow, and a little annoying. Therefore, I’m debating on whether or not to just go over to Windows 7, or maybe I should just bite the bullet and move over to Ubuntu. Now, for those of you who are actually still reading this post (thank you) and don’t know what Ubuntu is, its an open source operating system distribution of Linux. Now, I don’t want to get into too much detail as to confuse everyone, but lets just say its a cleaner, not as popular or mainstream, alternative to Windows that you can manipulate of you know how and it’s FREE!

The only thing I lose really is my ability to sync my Zune, which will be a drag since I use it to listen to my podcasts and my music. But maybe its not so bad, if that’s the only thing I lose. I’ll still be able to do everything else for the most part. I’m fairly torn though, I don’t know which one I should choose. Of course, if you know anything about either, please give some feedback, and let me know which you prefer. Thanks!

Sit back and relax, because it only gets worse from here.

You never know when the worse will happen, and it will always catch you by surprise. That’s the problem with life sometimes, is that you can get overwhelmed with a lot of bad things, and it can pile up to where you’re suffocating. You really have to catch yourself, and realize that when you have too much on your plate, you need to stop and take a break. I know that may seem pretty obvious, but people have a tendency to ignore how their body feels due to obligation and all that good stuff. Well, you do realize you’re obligated to you too.

You need to force yourself to slow down, and FIND time to take a break away from everything and everyone. Sometimes, a little me time can go a long way. Now I’m not talking about taking a vacation, sometimes just taking a few hours to do something for you can do wonders on your mind, body and soul. And you shouldn’t just do it once in awhile either. Make it a regular routine.

The moment you let it get to you, the moment you let the stress pile up, its almost too late. You don’t want to go into a breakdown mode. And I know everyone has gotten to that point at some time in their life, and its super hard to recover sometimes. So, my advice to you, don’t forget the sunscreen…okay, never mind. Bad reference. Sit back, relax, and recover, otherwise…it can only get worse from here. See what I did there?

Happy Father's Day, now stop being a pushover!

Well, I wanted to combine my Father’s Day wishes to all the dads out here, working hard being a dad. The closest I’ve ever been to being a dad was being a councilor at a group home. It was weird to get acknowledged by the parents and relatives that we were like Dad-lite, but I definitely appreciated the Father’s day wishes. Anyway, thanks Dad! Too bad you don’t know go online much.

Now the second part of that little title was for myself and my friend. We’re both givers, we love to help others for the sake of helping others. But I’m beginning to see, that some of the people I’ve helped over the years may have taken advantage of me. Yeah, you’re not supposed to expect anything in return, but you do wish they’d return the favor. I guess that’s all about the nature of the selfish beast. We have a tendency to want things for the work that we do, a reward or compensation. Its rare to find someone who is so willing to give and not ask for anything back. And that can be a problem.

As noble as those people are, anyone keen on their generosity will do their best to take advantage of it. They’ll try to use you for one thing or another, and keep using you without any intention of showing appreciation other than a thank you. Now is that enough for the giving person who just invested time in helping others? Well, my friend would certainly argue yes, but I would say NO! The moment you allow that to happen is the moment you get walked on, and you’ll be walked on for the rest of your life. Now I’m not saying my friend’s a pushover, but she leaves herself open to be one.

Learn to say no. Don’t lie, don’t make up excuses, just say no, I’m sorry. What obligation do you have to those people who take advantage of you? None! Maybe you’re someone who never needs the favor returned, well, okay. That’s fine. Then say you’d love to do it if they treat for lunch or something. Its non-assuming, and at least you’re getting SOMETHING out of it. What do you all think? Just keep doing because its the right thing to do or expect at least some kind of compensation for all the work you did?

Constructive Criticism of Geek Love Radio

Okay, so I’ve gotten a few things comments on the show, and I want to thank you all for saying things. I get it from both sides, some saying it puts them to sleep, and others who think that its good as it is. Others think that I give out too much personal information, and others feel that they can’t get anything out of it.

I’ve also had suggestions to do it in video and others to do it live and with a chat audience. Others think I should put up a phone number for people to call in. Whatever it is, I would love to hear your input as well. The more input I get, the more I can evolve. So let me know what you think of the show, what would make it better and what you would like to see gone.

I did episode 4 without a script, and I’ve done all the previous ones with a script. Which do you prefer? And would you like to see me on video? I don’t know about that. Please give me your input.

Episode 4 up tonight! Sorry for the delay.

The past can haunt us…and its scaaary.

I guess you really can’t escape the past, especially when you live near it. I was on the way today to meet up with some friends at Disneyland. I go so often, I might as well live there. And there I see him, the guy who was allegedly with my ex. I just saw him driving along the freeway to the area where my ex lives, so I can only assume. But I won’t, I won’t speculate, but it did bring up a lot of negative feelings. It took a lot to repress the feelings that haunt me from this whole ordeal, and seeing him only made the start of my day horrible. So what can I do?

Honestly, I can only say deal with it. When you live in the area of where your ex and the men she cheated on you with…(is that grammatically correct?), all you can do is face the feeling head on. Unless you move away to some other state, or country, you’re going to have to face your demons. And its going to be hard. I know it was hard for me, and it was on my mind most of the morning. Luckily, once I met up with my friends, it all went away and I just enjoyed my day. An inadvertent way of turning lemons into lemonade.

That’s the hardest part about unsuccessful relationships, the baggage sometimes remains even if you end it on good terms. Unfortunately, that’s few and far between, and relationships ending badly is usually the best case scenario. Its rare to get two adults to end things on good terms. Usually one or both act like children and its much uglier than it needs to be.

It takes strength and a little courage to stand up to those things that cause us pain. So, while sometimes the past haunts us, and it definitely is scary, its time to face up to those fears, or at least try to. Because you can’t run from those ghosts forever. Somehow, someway…they catch up.

Let's settle this once and for all…FIGHT!

We live in a world of dominant personalities, and people constantly fighting to be the alpha anything in work, marriage, families, etc. We try to let our own personality shine, and we try to get our own way. We’re individuals with our own wants and needs. Even those with a more submissive way of thinking want their own demands met. So how do we handle this in a world that lacks compromise? 

We settle. Often times people will fall in love or become infatuated with someone and we do our best to play the part of the perfect person. We hide our flaws, we deny our faults, and we shine for those we are hot for. Even the jerks and douche bags shine with shiny hair and clothes and wads of cash. So, we put our best foot forward, and we set ourselves up for failure.

The relationships we build will grow, and the bond will become tighter. This is probably why men prefer to have flings and women gravitate towards a-holes. It gives them the excuse not to have to settle with the person when they find out they’re not all they’re cracked up to be. After finding out we’ve been duped by our significant other, we almost feel like we’re not going to do any better, or we they’re all going to be the same.

Now, I’m not saying EVERYONE settles, but I think quite a few do. I have to bring up divorce statistics for it to even make a point. Its high in the United States, and I think people know that. Its common knowledge, yet people are willing to get married for the children or whatever the reasoning is. And they’re good reasons, but that’s why I find it ridiculous.

Why put yourself in that situation? Why are people jumping into relationships and marriage after…a year or two. Can you really know a person after that amount of time? I don’t think so. And what about living with them for awhile? I think there should be a set of new requirements in order to get married. This world we live in isn’t the way it used to be, with people just living miserably with their partner. 

People have an opportunity to know what they’re getting into. People should not sign in to that contract of marriage without living with this person, having sex with this person, and actually going through all sorts of drama with this person for at LEAST five years and after the age of thirty. Why rush it?

Otherwise, we settle…we live in perpetual sorrow…we allow ourselves to stay in a rut for some unknown, higher purpose. Stop…just stop. I’m not saying people can’t find happiness for a lifetime. And I’m not saying relationships and love don’t take work, its a lot of hard work, but its very possible and very rewarding. But don’t find yourself settling. Know what you’re getting into, and make it worthwhile. 

No need to (beat) hate (beat) everything about you!

We’re not perfect people, we all have a bunch of flaws, and hopefully we know about it. One of the first things we need to do, before we can even remotely find some kind of happiness is to be happy with who we are, or at the very least, not hate who we are. While going through the ups and downs of relationships, I found myself hating who I was. I thought I was the big cause for things failing in my marriage or in other aspects of my life. Now, yes, maybe I contributed to those, and maybe you’re contributing to what’s wrong in your life, but you shouldn’t hate yourself. Instead, we’ll do something COMPLETELY different.

Take it or leave it, but you’re going to have to own up to the problems you cause. In other words, we’re always a work in progress. No one is flippin’ perfect! Even the “professionals” aren’t perfect and can give some pretty bad advice. Because they’re not you, and sometimes the only person who knows how to solve your problems are you. So, what’s making your life a living hell? Is it your girl or guy? Is it you being a wuss, or you complaining, or you being lazy? What is it that’s making you miserable? When you find that out, you can have an idea of how to make it better, or at least make it go away.

So stop hating on yourself and do something about it. Change your situation. Its not going to be easy, but you need to find it in yourself to want to do something about it. Otherwise, you’ll always have the screwed up life. I thought I was going to be miserable forever after being divorced. I thought I was never going to be happy again, because I thought my ex-wife was my life. I knew what I did wrong in the relationship, and when I owned it, and made a change, I found out that she was a BIG problem in it as well. And she wasn’t getting any better. She still has a lot of issues, and a lot of problems, but I feel better about myself and what I’m going through because I was able to change, and able to get out of it.

Get that therapy, that help, that whatever you need to motivate you to become better and not hate yourself. You’re TECHNICALLY, supposed to love yourself, but even I know that’s kind of a tall order for some people. So start off, just disliking things instead of hating things, then liking your new you, and then…if you’re so bold, you can love you for you! Then, that’s when you’ll be ready to get back on the horse, hook up, date, whatever. You’ll have the confidence, and hopefully with that, the charisma, to get whatever you’re looking for.

I hate to be cliche, but if you want to get the girl or the guy, you got to get out of the funk.

Your one stop shop for Sincerity & Sarcasm in podcast form.