Listening to: Marian Call (@mariancall): Got to Fly
Mood: Epiphany is a mood?
Last thing eaten: Spaghetti
Well folks, as you can tell, I’m in an odd mood tonight. Mostly because I realized something about myself and this blog. I am sincere in my intent, trying to help people by lecturing them unnecessarily and sharing anecdotes that may not mean much to anyone but me. I am mildly sarcastic when I do my post titles, but they’re more “Huh?” moments than genuine jewels of comedy. So I ask myself, what am I doing here? Am I even giving the people what they want?
I realize there are those out there who listen to Geek Love Radio and read the blog on a regular basis. Thank you all again, I greatly appreciate it. But honestly, if you think about it, what on here are you guys interested in? Does any of what I say make sense? I’m just a regular person like you, I just try to get myself heard as much as possible. (Now Listening to: Donots: Saccharine Smile) I want to help others, and I want to share my experiences and all that good stuff. I don’t know how unique or how important it is, but I put it out there anyway.
See? Not funny, nothing I’ve just written is remotely hilarious. And…in my humble opinion, I do provide a few chuckles in person. Maybe its because I can use the situation, and I have an annoying laugh…loud and shrill. I’m also a loud talker, and I don’t censor myself. Is that funny? I want to be funny. I think people remember funny things than all this depressing stuff I write on here. I try not to be so negative really, I’m an upbeat positive guy in general. Its just, life sucks a lot of the time, and its a fact of life. I can’t help it sometimes.
I think my twitter posts are clever…at least I try to make them. Look to your right…isn’t it kind of clever? Look, I’m the first person to be harsh on myself, but I thought…maybe? I guess I lack humility, and I think I come off strong, but really. Its a bad habit.
For instance, I was going through my spam e-mail and a friend of mine I haven’t talked to in almost ten years wrote me a message the other day. I finally replied back, and when I read what I wrote, I really sounded overzealous. I replied fairly strongly and I was embarrassed. I almost wanted to write her again and tell her, it was just a surprise to hear from her, and that’s why it came out rushed and a little stilted and OUT there. I stopped myself of course, because I think that’s worse. Okay, I need to calm down and take my own advice. Take a breathe, figure out what’s going on, and think before I type. Like now…I really should read what I wrote. But you know what? I’m probably not going to.
Okay, I lied, I just read through this post, and I find myself not coming to the point that I originally had. This all had a point, really. And it was, I want to try to be funnier…be less…macabre. Life deserves the good things, no matter how low you feel. You need a pick me up. I of all people know what that’s like, living in depression. There I go again. *sigh* I miss writing out emotes. I used to do that all the time in chat back in the day. *looks around to make sure no one is looking* I used to play roleplaying games on websites. My writing is really rusty. And to think, I wanted to be a writer, and a voice over actor and…okay, I’m rambling even when I write.
So as you can see, I am scatter brained, and I think that’s what’s funny about me. I’m also kind of excited because I fixed my computer inadvertently. Okay, I’m stopping. I would just like to hear from you guys out there who actually read this stuff. What do you think? Yay or nay? (Which one means yes? – Sorry, Robin Hood Men in Tights) Okay, I’m done. I told you all I was in a strange mood. Be well people. I’m currently listening to: Buckcherry: Crazy Bitch…which was actually after Ingrid Michaelson’s Be Ok. I love music…I should listen to it more.