Yeah.........

I don't know what to write about. Did learn something not so great about myself today. That was interesting. The internet is like the TARDIS. You know you're going somewhere, you just don't know where you'll end up sometimes. And when you land, you may not know what's behind that door, but somewhere in the back of your mind, you know you're meant to be there. Hmm, I don't think that makes much sense, because sometimes people just stumble onto porn, and I mean the really weird kind with aliens and tentacles, and no one wants to be there, and I'm pretty sure you weren't supposed to see things like that, but there you go. 

Image: FreeDitigalPhotos.netWhich reminds me. I met someone recently who kind of amazed me. She's a very sweet person, with good intentions, and she has a very enthusiastic and happy personality. But there was one, strange...well, I don't want to call it a problem, though I think other people will find it a problem...problem. She was, naive and fairly clueless, and terribly...ignorant? I understand that ignorance is bliss, but I think this young lady took it to the next level. Now, whatever events got her to being this "innocent", it kind of surprised me that someone could be so sheltered, or my opinion of sheltered, and it made me appreciate her world where the only world view was my own, and no other world view existed.

It must be a nice, bright, bubbly universe when you don't know "the truth" about yourself and the world around you. Now, I'm under the impression that "truth" is relative to each person, and you supplement the truth with facts, with knowledge, with experience, and you "grow" out of being innocent and interpret the truth to fit your world view. Whew, that sounded WAY more complicated than I think it is supposed to be. But imagine an existence where success and the basic rules of life were dictated by reality TV. I would be remiss to say that reality TV "celebrities" didn't have a true grasp of the world. That's why they're making the big bucks by getting mani/pedis and convincing people to watch them and therefore PAY them to do those things. This is the real world to some people. That lifestyle is considered an aspiration. Who cares about landing a rover on Mars?!

Speaking of Mars, I saw Total Recall over the weekend, which was actually lacking quite a bit in the Mars department. My very brief review is that it's an action packed, BORING, movie with plenty of pretty people in it. Anyway, part of the premise of the film, before shit hit the fan, so to speak, was that in the future, if you did not like who you were, you could go to this place called Rekall and have the memories of someone else implanted into your brain. "Let me insert these happy, awesome memories into your head that feel so real, that you'll be happier for it and you'll forget that the world is crap, even if for just a moment." Part of me thinks that's why the ignorant are in bliss, because they don't need some scifi mumbo jumbo to be blinded to the world around them. Am I being too harsh to think that the "air heads", really don't know what's going on around them? I don't think so.

Either way, I think that's kind of a cool idea. To have my memories supplanted with someone better, and hopefully that will in turn make me better. Because who are we other than the accumulated experiences and learnings of our past? And if we were given the memories of a much more impressive past (ie. person), would we not, in turn, become much more impressive people? Who doesn't want to be better than who they are? Okay, I realize, "you can be better if you really want to, you just have to work at it, etc, etc." I realize that, but I'd be foolish not to take into account that there are a plethora of outside factors that can prevent people from rising above where they are, etc, partly why "life sucks", etc. This is a game we can play all day, but I just prefer not to.

Why all this talk about ignorance and bliss? Because, well, I'll admit it. Because what I learned today is that I am a "loser". Okay, I've known this for awhile, but not until recently did I learn HOW I am a loser. And this is not easy information to take in about myself, but from what I'm learning, I'm pretty sure this is the case about me. I am unabashedly taking off the rose colored glasses. Though, when you do that you become a cynic, you embrace sarcasm, you question everything, and you learn to dislike, sometimes even hate because you continue to learn how great or horrible the world really is and in turn learn about how great or horrible you really are. Does that mean I'll change? Hopefully it does, and for the better, but if I really am a loser, most likely not. It's why losers stay losers, and winners become winners. 

Maybe it's better not to know about these things, and much better to be in an ignorant haze. To think that the universe doesn't exist outside of ourselves. But then, how great is knowledge and knowing not only more about yourself, but about the people around you. How else can we become better? How else do we grow, and evolve if we don't keep pursuing information we may hate, or love about ourselves. Yeah, it amazes me that a person like this acquaintance of mine, exists. It saddens me that she is content to live in the dark and accept any answer that's fed to her without question, without curiosity, and in blind faith. I guess we all do that to some degree, but hopefully not to the point of delusion. It's the only way we can appreciate how funny life is. Sometimes life is the joke and we are the punch line. Okay, I threw that in there because I've been holding that line in for YEARS, and figured, I might as well just put that there. Not that it makes sense or anything.

Oh well, I hope I can figure out what to write about.