Image: graur codrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.netLook, I’m the first to admit I have a problem with this. It’s the one thing I struggle with the most as I guilt people, use denial and avoidance, and a lot of other negative things. Okay, so maybe I’m not that bad…anymore. I’ve gone through a lot of change, but old habit die hard, and for some, this is really the only way to cope with change or anything that doesn’t seem to go their way. Yet, here I am, trying to convince the world of how bad it is. And it is bad, I mean, you shouldn’t be passive aggressive about anything. You don’t accomplish much because you don’t let anything get accomplished. You just sweep it under the rug and hope it takes care of itself somehow. Well, that’s great if you NEVER interact with anyone ever again, but because we have people in our lives all the time, we have to kind of turn that passive aggressiveness into assertion. Yep, there’s that word again.
So here I am reading this article on Psychology Today about why this whole passive aggressive behavior is so prevalent in relationships. And I’m not just talking abotu couples and dating, I’m talking about family, friends and even coworkers. It’s something that seems so ingrained in so many people, that I’m surprised it’s just not accepted as a part of life. But it makes a lot of sense, becauuse who really wants to get into an argument right then and there. For many, just holding in the anger rather than confronting someone with it is just so much easier. Hell, now that I think of it, some people may see these blog posts and things on the podcast as passive aggressive behavior. Instead of me confronting people with my problems, I write about it in a way that I hope is helping someone else. Is that just weird?
Now, it’s not only easier to deal with confrontations, which I agree, it is often easier to deal with it this way than to actually be upfront, but if you are someone who is prone to these machinations, you can recognize it in others. I’ve found that I’m much more aware of people’s actions and the motivations behind those actions thanks to my experiences in passive aggressiveness. And this isn’t just with anger, but with just people doing their best to hide things. Sometimes, people are easy to read when it comes to trying to keep details of their life “secret”. There’s behavioral cues and actions that paint a much broader picture than what they say.
Those are just further examples of passive aggressiveness, and it seems to become more prevalent as the article from Psychology Today talks about how parents are teaching their children that showing off anger, or expressing yourself is “bad”. So, generation after generation are becoming more and more like this. Sarcasm, which is cool to a point, becomes more popular, people continue to play games, and well, if this keeps up, it’ll just be one huge screw you to everyone because no one is going to know what’s up.
So, let’s try to nip it in the bud right now. At least try to go and be assertive and upfront. Let people know what’s going on. Show people that expressing how you feel isn’t a bad thing and can actually help make situations better. Because the more we hide, the more we keep in, the more likely we’re going to explode. And who wants to clean up that emotional mess? You’ll need more than a mop and a rag for that.
via: Psychology Today – 2 Reasons Why Passive Aggressive Behavior Thrives in Relationships
