All over the news, alleged recordings (via radaronline) of Mel Gibson talking badly with his girlfriend (ex?) over the phone. I’ve listened to many talk shows discuss this subject as well as dissect it from different points of views. But I’m not going to talk about that, because…well, this isn’t a gossip site, but it does take into account a very important subject. Anger. From what I can tell, the person on the phone has a lot of anger issues. They are easily upset, they are quick to get extreme, to scream and with the calm voice of Oksana Grigorieva, would probably make him even more irate. Haven’t you been there before? Haven’t you been angry? Has it ever gone this far? I know I have. I’ve never struck a person, nor have I threatened to kill them, but my voice does go up and I do get flustered, and I do lose my temper, especially if the person I’m talking with knows exactly what buttons to press to get me there. But don’t we all do that? Guess what, you have a RIGHT to be angry. You can’t hold it in, but you need to be careful.
Despite the fact that we have a right to be angry, we don’t have a right to threaten or physically attack or abuse that person. The person we are angry at are people too, and yes, maybe they are being cruel by doing exactly what they know will piss you off. They’re doing that for a reason, it puts them in an advantage. It gives them the upper hand, and there’s a sense of accomplishment when you’re in the driver seat of someone else’s emotions. We do it too, we know we do, so why can’t we calmly accept that they’re just doing it because they’re angry too? Well, because of the obvious. WE are ANGRY! We have adrenaline flowing through our veins and we breathe like we ran a marathon. That’s okay, that’s good that we can express it to some degree, but we do need to control HOW we express it.
We are limited to what we can do when we’re angry. We should never just keep it in, because like a balloon, the more you fill it with air, and the more you fill yourself with un-vented anger, the more likely you are to eventually explode. But if you let out a little air/steam, you can keep yourself from going off the deep end. Instead, we need to go running, go biking, spar if you’re in a martial art. Ride your bike, go swimming, read, write, do something to let out all that steam. Honestly, the best way to relieve anger is sex, but if you’re arguing with the person you’re having sex with, that may not happen. You can’t demand it like the guy (alleged Mel Gibson) did on the recording, so you’ll have to stick with something else.
SOMETIMES, you can’t even find an appropriate way to let it all out. You need to find a kind of anger management. You might not know how to get rid of your anger, and it just grows day in and day out as you spend more time with the person who gives you that rage. Then get away, spend time away, hang out with the guys or the girls, do something ANYTHING, but get away and then when you’re calm…talk it out. If you can hug it out, hug it out. But you need to approach it from a level head, and you just need to get away. Hours, days, a week, however long it takes. Don’t let it get to the point to where you’re screaming, yelling, throwing things. The moment it gets there is the moment…it all begins to end.
