Have you ever found yourself in a position where you were trying to help someone, but the entire time was spent berating them? You don’t mean to, and you probably don’t notice, but maybe…just maybe you were acting like a big jerk. I think that’s me. I find myself wanting to help people, but I might not be of any help whatsoever. See, when I help someone, I try to stay as neutral as possible. I think about what I say, I stay calm, and I let the other person talk, get upset, yell, whatever they need to do. And I think I don’t talk down to them, but then…after thinking about it…maybe I do.
You will find yourself in occasions where you will not win the fight, not that its about winning or losing, its about just surviving sometimes. You want to help, or you’re trying to make a point, and you don’t know what the other person is thinking, and you don’t know what the other person is getting out of what you say. So you look like a jerk, or you look like an a-hole. Either way, its those occasions where you just need to stop.
Guys want to be the problem solver. That’s me, I want to fix things that are broken, even if I know I can’t do anything about it. I can’t fix people all of the time, I can only offer what I know and my own logic and its up to you to use it if you want. But most of the time, when a person presents you with a problem its not about making things better, its just about listening. Its just about hearing out the problem, and that’s it. Sometimes that’s all it takes, and you have to fight that urge to want to correct things.
Therefore, think before you speak, check out where the person is coming from, and fight the urge to have to fix everything. And for those who are just listeners, and the guy wants help getting something fixed…try to help fix it. The problem is, we live our lives on autopilot. We do things because of our gut feelings, or our intuition. We go forward and we think about our needs, and wants, and we forget about the other person. We’re human, we’re going to do it. But it doesn’t always have to be this way. We are just 1 in 6,000,000,000. Keep in mind, that the world…doesn’t always revolve around us.
