Mother And Baby by Anna CervovaThe more women I talk to, the more I find that their idea of having children is becoming less of a dream come true and more of a nightmare. Now to get some perspective, I live in the suburbs of Southern California, and these women are busy in their career, making a living for themselves, and are either single, taking a break from dating or divorced. Even those who are in relationships are saying no to kids. Now maybe this is a good thing, because we’re an overpopulated world anyway, but what could possibly bring women who once yearned for a family, be content with simply never having a kid?
All these women are young, by the way, and when I say young, I mean under 30. They adamantly say they do not want kids and some say that they straight up hate children. All harsh sounding, and often frowned upon, it makes a lot of sense for today’s women to not want to have kids. Maybe they’ll change their minds in the future or maybe that’s their mindset until they’re too old to care, but however you look at it women who don’t want kids are frowned upon and sometimes, even ridiculed. It’s expected from families especially, that their daughters get married, have children and build families. But that cup of tea is just not for everyone.
So why do women not want to have kids? Well, from a totally unscientific method, by asking the women I know who don’t want kids, I’ve found that the biggest reason is they don’t want to go through the pain and trials of child birth. Its a difficult time and a blessed time where pain and joy are mixes as one produces a child. This is again, from the perspective of the women I know, not mine, so please don’t tell me that I don’t know what I’m talking about. This is from a woman’s perspective that I’m just passing along. Now the ladies talk of not wanting to go through nine months of hormone changes, or the pains of labor, or any of the physical things that makes life interesting for women who are pregnant. But its more than just the pain and the emotions, but its the change in the way of life they fear.
Most of these women are living a life of being single or having been in a relationship. They’re used to a sort of freedom that may not be allowed to them if they have a kid. They’re not ready for that kind of responsibility or they’re not willing to give up what they have already. And I think that’s great. The pressure to have kids is fairly unfair. When you think about it, its almost like women in the modern day don’t have a choice but to have kids. But that’s a bit of an outdated mentally, don’t you think? I mean, its not during the times when people lived short lives and the more kids you had the more you were likely to repopulate the short living population. Also, there is no need to have kids to take care of things in our lives, like help in the farm or in the mines like two centuries ago. Children now are a means to procreate for simply keeping the population alive. But as I said before, the populace is so huge that, maybe that’s not the case anymore?
I look at other countries where having kids is frowned upon, ala China or encouraged like Japan, but in most of the world, there are enough people out there that want to have kids that there is a pretty good chance we won’t be running out of people any time soon. So why is it so bad to not want to have kids? Why is it ridiculed? Because its ingrained in our culture and our society that if you meet someone who doesn’t want to have children, its almost like a slap to the face of our society. But these women, from what I’m told, don’t want to give up their lifestyle. They’re professionals, they’re working, they’re trying to survive in a world that’s struggling. They are comfortable, they are happy, and even if they’re in a relationship its not something they want to give up. They don’t want the responsibility, they don’t want the additional stress that comes with raising kids. Its not for everyone, and with a population our size, more and more women aren’t feeling the pressure of having to have kids. I think its admirable, and if they change their mind, they change their mind, but women who are simply trying to live in this difficult time should not need to be ridiculed for their decisions.
