Image: Tina Phillips / FreeDigitalPhotos.netI don’t know whether or not this article is old or not, but I’ve mentioned this time and again, and I actually am bringing up this article mostly because of the comments they produced. So if you’d like a good read, I definitely suggest reading what people say about this study. Now, I’m going to give my take on this article, one that states what women are really looking for in men, and its own evolutionary implications. In other words, women do love the asshole, because it totally helped them out in the past.
Okay, so maybe I revisit this topic a lot, but it’s only because it’s brought up so often. People are really trying to figure out the complexities of relationships, just like I do here and on the podcast, that well…it just makes sense to keep coming back to this. Now, as a geek, I think it’s safe to say that most of “my kind”, are fairly nice people. We’ve often been labeled as introverts and whatnot, but I don’t think it’s that cut and dry. I believe that there are jerks out there who are nerds, and Lisa has attested to this. Even Dave has said he’s one without even knowing it. But down to our core, we try to be the nice guy, and we prefer to use brain over braun and whatnot. I think I can safely say that without getting too much resistance.
So there’s no clear cut way to label anyone, but it does make life easier. So when it comes to finding a woman, attracting them, it seems that just based on our ancestry, a woman really does want to look for that jerk of a guy. Now in the article/blog post/whatever, they do talk about how there’s this triad of things that women are looking for. Narcissism, thrill-seeking and deceitfulness. Okay, well…uhh…yeah. Really? I guess I understand how that worked back in the day when we were in tribes and in caves, and we had to defend ourselves from the enemy by force more than by wit, and we had to be able to kill people to protect our women and whatnot. But how does that apply to nowadays when the most successful people are the geeks and nerds who solve problems of the world through invention and ingenuity versus sheer force of will? Does that mean women aren’t attracted to those men? Well, I guess if they didn’t have money and power they wouldn’t be…
I hate to say it, but the nice guy is definitely fighting a losing battle. More and more evidence shows that women prefer the asshole over the good guy. It’s happened to me, where an ex ended up hooking up with some piece of…ugh…well, that’s beside the point, but it does happen. So what does that mean for you guys out there who are the nice guy? I guess it’s still up for debate and discussion because honestly, I think this is one part of relationships that I don’t believe will ever find resolution. All I know is that I still stand by the idea that you should be who you are whether or not a particular woman finds it attractive or desireable. You’ll find someone who will be into you for who you are, who will want you for who you are. No point in faking being an asshole, no point in faking being a jerk. Because eventually your true colors will show and well, that’s not what she signed up for. Let that girl know what she’s getting herself into and let that be the determinating factor. Though that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be assertive and confident, things I can’t emphasize enough.
I want to quote something from the article that I found particularly telling and emphasize why I will never be in this category that women find so hot. “The dark triad approach is one way of maximising a man’s reproductive potential by having sex with many females, while not bothering to stick around to help with the children.” Maybe I’m the only one that sees that as a pretty crappy move, but really, that’s just wrong. I’ll stick to being the nice guy, and even if that means I finish last, at least I can live with my choices and be pretty damn happy about myself.
