I started my very first podcast by proclaiming that all people are selfish. That we as human beings are self preserving, self serving indviduals who try to live for ourselves. So why do people go out there and help others? Well, if you stick with my theory, it’s because they get some kind of selfish gains from it. For instance, if I’m in a foul mood and I am unapproachable and things are just crappy. The moment someone needs help of some sort, some support, someone to lean on or someone to rely on, my emotions and my problems are turned off like a switch. There’s a kind of pleasant feeling I get when I help other people. In other words, doing this blog and the podcast is like a drug to me, because I know I’m helping SOMEONE out there…well, hopefully I am.
Yet there are a lot of negatives to helping others, if you allow yourself to fall into those traps. Now you may be wondering to yourself, “I help people, I mean, I do things for people all the time.” You probably do, but when you do more for other than you do for yourself, then you may have a problem. If you’re the kind of person who will drop your own personal wants and your personal needs for the wants and needs of others, then you have a problem. I think it’s awesome that you want to assist others. I know I’m a lot like this. But that’s the problem. People will take advantage of you. Even if you think they won’t, they WILL take advantage of you. You will be walked on. You WILL be used and abused. And depending on your personality, you’ll either just take it because you get a sense of satisfaction from helping others or you’ll just be resentful of everyone.
Image: graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.netBy now you probably figured out that I’m talking from experience. I get a little from both worlds, in that I get something positive out of helping others but I also become resentful. Look, I’m only human. Doing the blog and the podcast, it’s hard to feel resentful. I don’t have a personal relationship with you the reader/listener, so it’s hard to feel smited by you. But I do love helping others. It seems like it’s what I’m good at. And if you feel that way too, if you feel that being that support, that rock, that compass is what you’re good at then embrace it.
We are needed, as again, most people won’t look past their nose sometimes. Some people lack empathy, which is what help-aholics have. Some people are too wrapped up in their own lives to see what’s outside their front door…so to speak. Now it sounds like I’m bashing those people, but I’m not. We all live life in the best way we know how. We do what we can to survive and to be happy. Because isn’t that what life is all about? Finding the things that make us happy, that make us want to wake up the next day? And for a small few, or more…their source of happiness is the happiness and contentment of other people.
You also can’t be a true help-aholic if you expect some kind of recognition. It’s a thankless job. Firefighters, police officers, teachers, nurses, doctors, the list goes on and on of people who do good everyday but never really get the recognition they deserve. Of course, they’re not in it for that. Then there’s me, on a much, much, much, MUCH smaller level. Helping people with relationships, with life, with just the things I can handle. I don’t think I can put out a fire, stop a robbery or diagnose someone with an illness. But I can provide my knowledge, my experience, and my desire to be there to help in some way, right?
Wow, well, I apologize if this was all strange and fragmented and shattered to bits, but I find this subject fascinating. I’d like to think that people out there who can relate and are maybe getting tired a little or feeling they have less and less to give, that they read this and know that they have support from others like them. To keep fighting the good fight no matter how they’re treated. Because we’re not alone in the world. Everyone is important in their own way. Even the help-aholics. Thank you for what you do.
