I have a few friends who are couples, and many who are single. But when I was in the couple situation, there always seemed to be, more or less, even numbers in our groups. Now that I’m a single again, the third wheel phenomenon is pretty evident. And boy, do they put up with me. Now, if you’re not familiar with what the third wheel is…then I’m surpised. But really, the hardest part about the whole deal is that you end up either taking away the attention of one, or having to divide your attention between two. Talk about a juggling act.
And since I’m not very good at juggling, and since I get all sensitive about the situations like that, I always wonder why I’m invited along to be the third wheel. It’s not like other people aren’t invited, but often I find myself being that extra person that the couple must tow around. Maybe that’s just me being desperate for company, and they’re really cool about it, but I still feel pretty crappy. Also because, this hasn’t happened in a long time. I always had…someone…to take with me in just such an occasion. And of course, I’ve been the recipient of that extra person when I was with my ex, but well…that situation was a little more complicated.
So what does one do when they find themselves as the extra man, the third arm, the additional sandwich? Well, you make the best of it, because it really isn’t all that bad. I brought this up, because I know often there’s ridicule about the third wheel and they’re impact on the outting or whatever the hell you happen to be doing. I’ve never really felt THAT bad. I notice it, but really, if the couple are your friends, then they’re usually pretty accomidating.
Rarely have I felt like I was unwanted, though the juggling act still existed. But if they were both cool with it, who cares? But if you do find yourself in a situation where it may seem awkward, maybe because a friend stood you up or worse yet, your date, then bow out. No reason to keep the night going and having everyone feel like there’s this HUGE elephant in the room crushing down you from above. Save everyone the heartache and say, “Well…you two have fun, I’m going to go watch a movie!” Of course, they’ll insist that you stay, and that you accompany them, but really…unless you are really close with both of them, it’ll just be a night of awkwardness and ignoring at least one of the party.
Finally, if you’re the one in the couple, and you have a third wheel. Be cool. Don’t let them feel like crap. And if you and your girl/guy are good with this “extra baggage”, then keep the night going, otherwise, be polite. Let them know that it sucks that their date never showed up or that your mutual friend sucks and complain about what a flake they are and just end the night early. I hate those uncomfortable feelings. Especially when they turn it into tv format. Gah. I realize it’s funny, but boy do I empathize with that person.
So anyway, there you go. Just sharing what I’ve been through. Luckily, very few awkward moments, and mostly fun time with a couple friends. It was a bonding moment, and I lucked out. Hopefully you will too.
