Alright, so… not gonna dance around the issue so let’s jump into it.
Sex.
Sex is… pretty cool, right? Not a lot of people would disagree unless they have some really unique problems like… well, fuck, I don’t know. If you have a problem with it, go ahead and email me because I’m kind of fucking curious.
Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.netHow important is sex in a relationship? I guess the answer would vary for different people. Most guys would say it’s really important, but I’m not here to make sweeping generalizations and say ALL guys are obsessed with it. Hell, I know plenty of girls who go pretty nuts if they don’t get laid for a while.
Typically, I find most people like to wait anywhere from a week to 3 months before getting in bed with someone. The next highest statistic would be about 6 months, followed by a year or more in some more rare cases. And I figure people have their own reasons for waiting as long as they do, so I won’t judge. But is sex a make-or-break factor when staying with someone?
Let’s say you’re a sub. And you find a partner who you get along with really well, you’ve been dating for however long, you find each other attractive, whatever. But you come to find, either through having that “pre-sex talk” or just in the middle of making out, that they’re also a sub. Some compromise is going to have to be made or NOTHING is going to happen. Does the one who has to compromise become resentful? Or maybe you can become switches. I know this much, two doms will ALWAYS be fighting for power. (Part of the reason I prey on the shy boys; I know what I’m looking for.) So now you have to take sex into account when looking for a potential S.O. As if shit wasn’t stressful enough already, right?
“Single white female seeks long-haired closet weeaboo to play DND with. Must also have a 3-digit IQ. And not be obese. And not socially retarded. Must also have a job. And a car. No, I don’t care what kind. Must like dogs, too. Oh, and should play video games. And be half Lycan. OH, and submissive in bed. No doms allowed.”
And people wonder why I’m single.
Ok, fine, so let’s set the sub/dom thing aside for the moment and consider what other potential problems we might run into. What if they’re not into rough play and you are? What if they’re into the whole “gag me with a chloroform rag and punch me as hard as you can” and you’re more of a Barry White/candles type of lover? Do you see what I mean?! This shit is complicated!
“But Dani, that’s so superficial! Not being with someone because you’re different in bed.”
Well, asshole, sex is pretty important to some people. That physical connection can keep a relationship alive and it can also lead to shit like cheating and straight up leaving you for someone who WILL take it up the ass.
I mean, come on, like 70% of divorces are the result of a bad sex life. I totally pulled that statistic out of my ass but we’re gonna go ahead and use it to validate my argument because I can fucking do that.
It’s not superficial to have standards when it comes to being with someone you plan to sleep with. It’s also not superficial to prefer to be attracted to someone you’re seeing (as long as you don’t date them BECAUSE they’re hot and for no other reason.) Obviously, if you only like someone for the sex, we call that a booty call. Maybe your S.O. won’t be perfect in the sack. Maybe he won’t last as long as you like him to, but those are minor details compared to say, a guy who openly hates giving head. (That’s a deal-breaker as far as I’m concerned, I don’t even give a fuck. Argue all you want, you’re a dick if you can receive and not give.) If your partner can’t satisfy you, it might lead to a lot of resentment that you can’t openly discuss because it’s almost insulting to tell someone, “Hey. I love you and all but I cannot fucking stand sleeping with you. You only last 30 seconds and it makes me want to beat the living shit out of you after we have sex.” Totally valid reason but it makes you look like an ass. No tactful way to bring that shit up, you know?
So what I’m saying is this: Find someone you can stand sleeping with a lot. Because you might have to sleep with them a lot in order to stay sane in a relationship. Make that one of the things you take into account when scouting for a partner just so you don’t have any awkward “talks” down the road.
Oh, and to clarify, having an 8 inch dick doesn’t automatically make you a god in bed. I’m not fucking impressed and you need to stop telling me how “HUEG” you are as a way to entice me. Dani is not amused.
