Image: Ian Kahn / FreeDigitalPhotos.netThis is not news, but life is hard. The difference is that some people make it look easy. I don’t know how they do it, but maybe people ignore the things that suck in life, or maybe they are the eternal optomist, or maybe they take out their frustrations on some whack a mole. Well, however it’s done, it surprises me that sometimes the moniker, time heals all wounds, does not apply to everyone, and the weight of life can continue to crush even the toughest of people. Which led me to feel like actually moving on, being better, happy, all that sappy stuff is just as hard as life itself. You have to work at it, and just like anything else anyone works at, it can get tedious after awhile. Not to say that we don’t get over it eventually, but damn…sometimes I don’t think we EVER get over it.
I saw this movie awhile ago called Paperheart. It has Charlyne Yi and Michael Cera, and it’s in general about Charlyne discovering “love”. It’s a mockumentary, that is mostly forgetable, but there was a scene in there that really hit me in the gut. Now mind you, I saw this movie around the time when the bad in my marriage was near it’s peak if not there already. Either way, there was this one interview with this old guy who never stopped loving his wife. Now I forgot what happened to his wife, but I remember he “lost” her at a young age, and he never found anyone else again. He decided that was the love of his life and he was fine just being single and letting his love for her continue on. I remember thinking that would be me, and now that I look back, I wonder if that was sweet or sad. Not me, the old guy. And I still really don’t know, but it made me think, if someone can hold onto love for that long, can’t you hold onto other stuff like that as well?
Hate is a strong word, for a lot of people. Hate is, for some reason, a very seroius way of looking at things, and looking at people. You can dislike someone, and that’s cool, but hate? You save that word for special people. But I guess, if you hate someone, a friend who spited you, a lover who hurt you, or a family who betrayed you, whatever the reason, if you hate someone…you HATE someone. And it’s not something that goes away until revenge is achieved and they are crushed by your thumb and you have destroyed their dreams. That’s what hate produces, and it’s such an easy feeling to hold onto, because it’s so raw. HATE! Even the word sounds raw.
What do you do when someone who’s in that raw state of pure emotion is still on a rampage or still hold onto that feeling? I mean, I dislike. Hell, I dislike all the time, but I don’t think I’ve ever hated. Of course, I’ve said the word hate in place of dislike, but I don’t think I’ve ever TRULY hated. But I’ve seen it, and I’ve watched it fester, and I’m kind of curious what it feels like. But how do you move on from hate? How do you get passed that powerful feeling? Do you have to get your revenge to move on, to feel better, to find closure?
Personally, I don’t know, and I’ve never claimed to know much, but hate is the one thing I don’t thinK I’ve never really known. No matter how many people I’ve told my story to, the one of my divorce, or my life after love, and often times people have this intense anger towards the woman. Like women should no better, and “how could she do that to you?” and, for some reason, women “hate” women who do the things they do ala, my story. But no matter how much I was hurt, and broken by that situation, I grew out of it, I got better, and I moved on. I don’t think I ever felt hate towards her, and I don’t think I ever felt hate towards him and him and him…and him. But I don’t talk to them anymore, I don’t put them in my life, and I don’t associate with people who even are loosely associated with them…sort of. So maybe I just avoid hate.
What are your thoughts on hate? Is that really a strong word? Have you ever felt hate? Do you think people can get over that feeling and if they can, do you have any advice on the matter? Let me know. Thanks awesome people.
