The latest Twitter trend, well, as of this Sunday of the Thanksgiving weekend 2011, is #GrowingUp. That was a horrible intro, but of course, it’s horrible to think about growing up, so I guess the two can go together. Anyway, growing up is a subject that a lot of people don’t really think about. When was the last time you sat down and thought about yourself and the fact that you’re getting older every second. Our cells are decaying, and aging, our faces become a little more wrinkled, unless you happen to be one of the lucky ones who don’t seem to age, ever. I’m looking at you Leonardo DiCaprio. But of course, the actual aging process is not what growing up is all about, that’s just the physical part. Every day we look in the mirror and we see the gray hairs and crows feet along our face, and we feel grown up, but we can’t really say that if we still don’t act like it, which I apparently just learned recently. I don’t know if that’s sad, a sign of the times, or me being stupid. Could be all three.
Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.netYou’ve heard it all before, I think, when people say, “Age isn’t a number, it’s how you feel,” or something to that effect. People tell me all the time that age is a state of mind, that I don’t look my age or act my age. Which is true. I’m a big kid, running around being loud and obnoxious. That’s only when other people are around of course… That I know… That I’m cool with being a fool around. Which is really only a few people… So it’s not that often. Anyway. Thus, how you act in on the outside is not how you act, on the inside, which really doesn’t make too much sense, but bear with me. Just because you act like a kid doesn’t mean you don’t have the mind of a mature, fully functional, responsible, adult. But how often is that the case?
The other day I was having a conversation with my father about my car. He knew I’ve had that car for a long time, almost a decade, and that I really didn’t keep track of the maintenance of my car. I drive it, I fill it up with gas, I get air in my tires on occasion and I sometimes change the oil. That’s more or less it. Who really thinks about that stuff? Well, in hind sight, this is a dumb thing that I do, as I rely on my car to get around. So he asks me what kind of maintenance I’ve done on it, and whether I’ve checked this, that and the other thing, and I confess, in a very pouty and child like manner, that I didn’t. Of course, maybe a lot of people revert to their childhood when confronted by their parents, but I think I may have taken it to the next level.
I get upset by this blatant lack of responsibilty being pointed out and I retort with, “I don’t know if pointing out why I ‘suck’, is going to help with me actually remembering to keep my car maintained,” I’m paraphrasing, because I really can’t remember how I replied. A sign I’m getting OLD?!?!?!
“I don’t expect you to change, by me telling you this,” my father replies, “because you’re always going to be this way. You’re going to act like ‘this’, and your mom and I know that’s always going to be you.” Again, another paraphrase, and a slap to the face. I act like this? Like a child? Do I act this way about everything? So I began to reassess myself before I wrecked myself. I’d hate to think this entire time, I’ve never matured, that I’ve always skirted what needed to be done. After much thought, reflection, and concern, I decided then and there, things needed to change, and that’s when I think, I grew up.
Here’s why I don’t know if I grew up or whether I was just an old man, set in my ways, because there’s no book on this thing. No list of rules exists on what it means to be an adult. You just live your life, learn, grow, and hopefully mature. Maybe I’ve always been a “grown up”, and this was just part of the process. I learned that I skirt responsibility for later, that I can be lazy or forgetful and don’t make enough effort to remember.
Now, it’s sad because I didn’t “grow up” until about a few months ago when this conversation happened. It’s hard to think that I was just a kid in a man’s body, doing kid things, and expecting the world to work itself out without taking action. I figured, “I’ll fix my car when it breaks down,” but by then, it’d be too late. That’s not what a responsible adult would do. Yet, so many so-called adults, act and think the way I do. Maybe I just haven’t reached that level of maturity? Is growing up about getting old or making the hard choices and doing the things you don’t want to do? Is that an old and worn out mentality?
This doesn’t mean I’m going to give up the childish things I love to do, like acting like an idiot on ocassion or playing video games, or collecting toys, props and replicas, but I’m going to have to do things I don’t necessarily like, that bother me, that anger me, and that take up time I could be doing something else. The sign of a “grown up” is when you can balance what you want to do, with what you have to do, and not compromising on either. Unless you’re wealthy, then you can be whatever you want to be. Money, is there nothing you can’t do?
