You’ve heard the stories where a couple meets in the most random of circumstances. One couple meets at a dating website, has a long distance relationship, fall in love, move great distances and marry one another. Another couple met when he, a cop, pulls over a beautiful young woman. He issues a ticket, she flirts back hoping to get out of said ticket and one thing leads to another and love blossoms. Then yet another couple, meet at work, he hands her a application to apply for the job, later she gets the job, and they find themselves in a whirlwind romance. However you put it, people find each other in a way that almost seems written in the stars, which it isn’t, because there’s no such thing as destiny and fate. I know that sounds weird coming from a professed romantic, but in reality, it’s attraction, desire, assertiveness and a lot of good sex that leads to long lasting relationships. But it all starts somewhere.
Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.netEvery week I shop at the same market, and somehow, almost every week, I have the same girl at the register or helping bag the groceries. Now, people have this interaction all the time, but what happens often, is that people, like myself, look into the situation a LITTLE too deeply. So this lovely, doe eyed young woman is someone I have ten seconds of interaction with, but in that interaction there is interest, a little banter, and possibly flirting. She smiles a certain way, brushes her hair from her face, notices things about you that only a person paying close attention would notice, and goes out of her way to make conversation. I’m going to use myself here in the third person, he smiles back, is oblivious to anything that may be going on and goes about his merry way.
Weeks this happens, and for weeks they seem to find themselves in the same situation. He in line, trying to buy groceries, she commenting on his clothing or how funny one thing or another is. It’s very tame, very innocent and yet, he is oblivious. Until one day, he finally has the guts to look her in the eyes. Those soft, brown globes glimmer in the dim luminscence of the market. They smile in a way that makes him notice, and in those brief moments between breathes, she announces that she liked his shirt. He blinks and looks down, realizing it’s his shirt from the Playstation store, and he simply replies with, “Yeah, it’s not there anymore.” Realizing a conversation was supposed to happen, but too late, he grabs his bags, thanks her and walks away dejected, head hung low as he thinks of the possibilities that conversation could have gone. Instead, he has his groceries, his bag, and his thoughts.
Isn’t that sad? First off, women are conversational beings in general. There was no flirtation in that, just a person being friendly. Also, men, like myself, have a tendency to go overboard when they’re lonely. They se things that aren’t there, act desperate sometimes to get a girl’s attention, and often fall flat on their face. Sure, in a world written by top hollywood writers, the scenario would have played out differently. He would have been able to ask her out on a date, she would have said yes, and then let the romantic comedy ensue. Yet, that did not happen. Instead, he left the same as he came in, just a little more embarrassed for even thinking she was talking to him because she found him attractive. Women are flirtatious by nature, no matter their looks, no matter their station. Yes it comes in different shapes and sizes, but all in all, flirtation is a form of regular human interaction.
So what does that mean here? Take a chance! He, or I, whatever, should have taken the chance, asked her out. It’s worked in the past, and I’ve had many a great relationships from it. I took the bold leap forward, and it worked. Why didn’t I do it this time? Because I gave myself excuses. I’ve been down this road before, where I thought they were flirting with me, I got a little too excited and kind of futzed everything up.
You know, as realistic as I try to be about relationships, I’m learning that a lot of it is chance, luck, and opportunity. Who knows where I would be if I didn’t jump at the chance of asking a girl out. Who knows if this girl is really the one for me. Yes, this is coming from the guy who advocates that relationships are usually not long term, and are marriages should be abolished because we as human beings aren’t meant to stay with one person forever. I believe this to be true, but my heart will always say otherwise. Who knows, maybe I’ll date the girl at the market and we’ll hit it off great, or maybe we’ll have nothing in common and move on our merry ways, no matter the situation, no matter what you believe, we as human beings have to be irrational, wreckless and irresponsible, it’s what makes us human. The fact that we often fight our logic, fight our reason, shows that we are often driven by flights of fancy. And no, that’s not necessarily a good thing. But, it’s how most stories begin and sometimes that’s how they end.
We all get to an age where we stop taking risks. For many of us it’s in our thirties, for some it’s sooner, for others it’s much later, but in the end we stop doing things that can potentially cause us harm. Yes, I call rejection harm, because some people just don’t know how to handle it. But I say, if we want to be with someone, if we want to have that relationships experience, that rollercoaster ride if you will, then I say close your eyes and jump in. Fear is our greatest barrier, our wall that keeps us from doing the most amazing things, and I’m not saying that hasn’t stopped me or will continue to stop me. But I know one thing, I’m going to keep fighting against that, and maybe the next time you see the next chapter of this post, it will be from a date (good or bad) with the girl at the market.
