Written By: Dave the Drummer
I’m all about leaving the house, now. I went out a whole bunch of times lately! If you listen to the show, you’ll know all about what the Hell I had to do this weekend. Well, I think I managed it. I might be stretching the definition here, but I’ll just go with it and say I totally won.
I had to go out and make buddies with a chick. Last time I had to make a friend with a dude, and I totally got his number. I got a whole ZERO numbers this time around. Granted, I need to talk business with the dude, but still. I talked with three chicks and I’m pretty sure it went fairly OK. They didn’t hit me or anything.
First off, I talked with two chicks. For ease, let’s refer to them as Lady A and Lady B. I’m out having a smoke, and both of them stood just kind of over there, at the bit you can’t see, but it was close. They were looking for a lighter, so I intervened in their quest and handed over mine. Lady B had these dread-lock things going on, and lady A decided to ask me if I thoguht they were real or a wig. After processing what the fuck I’d just been asked, I wiped the dribble off my face and quite cleverly replied “Uhhh…….. I have no idea” How the fuck are you supposed to respond to that? My brain totally failed me in coming up with a witty reply that wasn’t cancer based.
Later on, I’m out having another cigarette (I see a trend, here) standing also just over there. Lady A comes out, she starts to roll a cigarette, but disaster strikes when she discovers she has no filters. Me, being your protagonist, hand her my box of filters and we get to talking. She asked me what I’m doing in Limerick, seeing as how I have a Dublin accent. We talk about studying, and bitch about how art school sucks massive balls. Then conversation tailed off when a bunch of her friends appeared and I was all like “Run away!!” so I did. On the way back in, Lady B is at the door where they take peoples hard-earned pennies to pay the bands. I ask her what the craic is and carry on down the stairs. Then I realise, I still didn’t get an answer to the hair question. I turn back and ask her, turns out it’s totally a wig. Like a smooth son of a bitch, I say “Far out” and get over taken by dread at the fact that I sound like I was scripted by the writers of That 70’s Show. I recover by telling her they suit her, and she laughs. I turn around, hold my face in my hands, shake my head and go back in to see the last band of the night.
Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.netLet me just say, the first two bands I’m a fan of. On Pain Of Death and Celtachor are both really great acts, and I even got a first listen to a new OPOD song. The last band, though, are really, really awful. But, I’m on a mission, so I brave them and stand non-chalantly. A clearly ecstatic girl stands next to me and asks if I like the
group. I’m about to tell her I think they’re so bad I hate myself when she finishes her sentence. Turns out she’s a super-fan. I decided to lie and told her I thought they were just swell or something, then she goes fucking ballistic, screams in my face and waves a camera around.
So, that was my night. A fair amount of talking, but no numbers. Maybe that chick screamed her number at me, but it got garbled coming out, I dunno. At any rate, next up is a bunch of thrash metal bands. I’m not sure if there will even be any chicks there, and I’m also not sure if I’ll really want to get to know a chick that would pay to be at a thrash metal gig. They be mental. I’m a martyr, me. Taking several for the team. This has been Dave the Drummer, reporting for booty.
