WRITTEN BY: Dani the Universe – danidanirevolution@gmail.com
During all my years lurking 4chan (or “The Insidious Evil Pornographic Website of Sin” as Fox News likes to call it) I’ve noticed a lot of things about people. The nature of these observations are weighed upon heavily by which specific boards I tend to frequent and, like any sane woman, I find myself drawn to the misogynistic hellhole known as /r9k/. Now this particular board is ripe with woman-hating, superiority-complex riddled internet dwellers who love, more than anything in this world, to reassure any who will listen that women are inferior to men in every possible way. It’s actually pretty hilarious.
However, there is one particular gripe I have with something I frequently come across on this particular board that I’d very much like to address. It is the notion that if an attractive man pursues a woman, she will be flattered. Contrariwise, if an unattractive man pursues a woman, he is a creep. While this is not entirely untrue, as I have seen this played out many a time, I’d like to state that this sad trend is not limited to women being shallow whores. Men do it, too.
Time and time again, I’ve known guys who have held the attention of certain ladies they found… less than desirable. Most of the time, the girls were actually alright people if you got past their weight/face/hair/acne/third tit. But it always seems as though the guys treated them like goddamn lepers all the same, bitching and groaning at the fact that the girl was interested in them as though they weren’t the same guys who were complaining about being single and forever alone not a fucking week prior.
I’ve also noticed the same occurrence when someone of the same sex makes an unwanted advance. This trend I find particularly offensive and just plain unfair. Fine, an ugly chick hit on you. You’re not interested and you just leave it at that, right? You might make a snarky comment later on in that night but you’re not particularly traumatized or anything. Yet, for some baffling reason, when a gay or bisexual man hits on a straight man, the straight guy will often become incredibly guarded, defensive and sometimes even downright violent. While you might consider such reactions to be the result of blatant homophobia, it happens to more liberally-minded men just the same.
Some might say, “Oh, well he’s just not secure with his sexuality. That’s why he was so defensive.” Not necessarily. I happen to think that there’s some sort of stigma that gay men and women have to face when dealing with straight people and that is the notion that if a gay hits on you, you gon’ get raped.
While this response isn’t exactly unheard of when someone of the opposite sex makes advances, it’s not quite as common as it seems to be for gays. When a particularly undesirable person tries to make a pass at me, I don’t immediately assume they’re going to stick their hand down my pants. I assume that I will make my disinterest apparent and they will leave me alone. Worst case scenario, they will badger me for my number until I make up an excuse to go somewhere else. This seems to be a fairly standard mentality amongst most people. But somehow that logic goes right out the window when homosexuality is involved, as though when someone becomes gay they are immediately handed a chloroform rag and an unmarked van as a rite of passage.
While this may appear to be a politically centered post, thinly veiled behind a mask of social observation, I assure you that is not the case. My political affiliations are none of anyone’s business, nor are yours mine. I simply wanted to address an unfair double standard I’ve come to notice as of late. I’ve heard stories of gay people getting punched just for flirting with someone they made the grave mistake of not knowing was straight. Would you punch a fat chick who hit on you because she mistook you for a chubby chaser?
Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.netYes, some women act this way when an ugly guy asks for their number. For that I apologize on behalf of my gender. The difference between someone being labeled as “charming” and “creepy” should not depend solely on how high he rates on the 1-10 scale. Likewise, an attractive woman should not be labeled as “strong and assertive” for calling you 10 times a day while an unattractive one is labeled “stalker” for adding you on Facebook. This is just common sense.
Just because someone you’re not into finds you attractive, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to force themselves on you. Most people aren’t fond of having harassment charges filed against them, regardless of their sexuality. Don’t just go around getting offended or creeped out just because someone with a receding hairline hit on you. You should be flattered. (Especially if a gay guy hits on you; they tend to have high standards.)
Visit Dani’s Blog: Bartering For Sanity
