Okay, no it isn’t, but apparently a lot of people think it is. I honestly don’t know what happened to the men (and women) of this brave new world where they feel the only way they’ll get any kind of respect or acceptance is to be a an asshole. I understand, sometimes you don’t always get the results you want by playing the nice guy or gal, but there has to be some kind of middle ground before you need to be a jerk. Of course I guess, maybe you don’t care to change, and I understand that if people can’t take the heat, they should stay out of the kitchen. I’m just curious what a person with this mentality of being a dick is trying to prove? Is it just to be tough? Are you trying to prove a point? Are you trying to show you’re better than the other person?
For some reason, the whole, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all mentality is old hat. It’s the train of thought where if you want my resepct, you need to earn it, as opposed to, respecting people until they no longer deserve it. It is this kind of backwards thinking that keeps us as people, on the defensive. We think everyone is out to get us and hurt us, so we hurt them first, even if they don’t deserve it. Is it a lack of human decency? Am I in the wrong to think that we shouldn’t bully people? Isn’t that what being a douchebag for no reason is? The justification for being unsavory is often in our own heads. We give ourselves reason to mistreat people, even if we have to make it up. “They looked at me funny.” “Did you hear how she talked to me?” We see things that aren’t there and we roll with it. Obviously they deserve to be treated like dirt, because well…just because.
I mean, obviously I’m biased towards this, because I know people and have been around so many people who fit into this category. I’ve grown up with people who are trying to prove a point, by being dicks. And I’m not saying these people were or are like this all the time, but I guess the thing I have a hard time wrapping my mind around is that I don’t understand why the first reaction some of these people have is to tear people down. Like treating someone like they were subhuman was almost second nature and the only thing to do.
That is what bothers me the most, I guess. People don’t have to be complete assholes. People have a choice to on how they treat people, but instead, the default is break people down. If you are this person, do you feel treating anyone any other way is a weakness? Even when people are trying to be “nice” about it, they end up being cruel. “I don’t mean to be a dick, but you’re an idiot.” Well, how can you not mean to be a “dick”, if you follow up with that statement by being a dick!? Personally, I think everyone has a right to treat people how they feel they should be treated, but I still don’t think that’s necessarily right. Is decency an old concept and an old idea? Is the only way to accomplish anything or to get a point across is to make them feel like utter crap? Why do people feel that they deserve it? And why is it always used on people who are “weaker” than them. Why don’t people who like to be jerks pick on someone their own size? Apparently, I have a lot of questions when it comes to this subject.
Then there are the reasons behind being a jerk. Look, I completely understand and even can condone someone fighting fire with fire. If someone is going to be an asshole to you, a very viable option is to be an asshole back. I don’t believe that’s the BEST way to approach it, but at least it seems like you’re more justified. But then there are those who cannot defend themselves. People who innocently enter into the fray and get hit with the one, two punch of hurtful comments because they innocently said the wrong thing at the wrong time. Did they deserve it? Probably not. Either way, I don’t think there are many reasonable (I’m not even going to use the word good here) reasons to rip someone a new one who did not intentionally provoke it. I think I’m missing something, I feel like people take the easy road, by insulting, damaging or hurting someone for what seems like no reason other than to do it. Better to beat the weak than to raise them up?
The worst part is that few do anything about it. Sure on occassion someone will come up and stand up for another or tell someone when they’re being out of hand, but for the most part, society has taught us that it is NOT our problem. The good samaratin is a thing of the past, and the only time anyone tries to be a hero is online where the worst that can happen is a few slurs thrown their way. Hell, I see it, and I do nothing about it. The whole evil winning when good men do nothing bit. I learned, sadly, that it’s a fend for yourself kind of society. When someone is an asshole to me, I normally just laugh it off. I don’t take it seriously, and just play along, because what’s the point of fighting back? What will change? Isn’t that a sad way of thinking?
Here are my final questions, and you can be a jerk to me if you’d like. Is being an asshole a form of bullying? Am I wrong to think that there are better ways to approach people who rub us the wrong way other than with being a douche? Am I a wuss and weak for thinking that we can approach life and people without having to resort to being a dick? There are so many sides to this. I mean, people could think I’m condoning people be weak or be victims, others may think I’m promoting a live and let live way of life, or advocating human decency. Whatever I’m promoting, I want to hear your thoughts.
