As a single man, and well, even when I was not a single man, I would meet and see women all over the place, and I would tell an anecdote to a male friend, and we’d have a laugh or a discussion or a debate whatever it was I talked about. Well, let me back up a little bit, because that’s how the conversation ends. How it begins is, “Hey ‘man’, so there’s this chick I saw…walking down the street…riding a unicycle…playing poker…smiled at me…gave me a Tony Danza…etc.,” and the first follow up question to that comment seems to be always the same. “Was she hot?” Not until that question is out of the way am I allowed to continue on with the rest of the story.
I find it kind of interesting and kind of funny that the most prevalent part of any story I tell is the fact that it contains a woman. Now I’m not complaining about that, don’t get me wrong (almost tempted to say “don’t get it twisted”) but I simply find that fascinating, and wonder why I don’t care. When I hear a story, I don’t go for whether the person is hot or not, I ask more about the story. “So she fought a half arachnid, half hamster alien with just a piece of lint and a toothbrush? Was it a plain toothbrush or an electric one?” Maybe I just don’t ask the right questions.
But really, that’s not the part that kind of messes with my brain. It’s when I tell my male friends, both in the past and in the present about a girl I happen to find interest in, and still get the same question. “Is she hot?” Now, I don’t know what people think of me, but should that not just be assumed? Do I have such horrendous taste in women that the question needs to be asked? I’d like to think that if I’m interested in someone, its not only because of their personality, brains, and sense of humor, but it’s because I consider them to be incredibly attractive. I stopped with the whole going after unattractive people thing when I was in high school. Though, unattractive people, like myself, need love too.
Maybe that sounds shallow, but very few people can escape the fact that attraction starts with the looks. If an individual looks cute, pretty, hot, sexy, etc, that’s the initial impression and magnetism that gets you gravitating towards them. You don’t know much about them yet, so of course you’re going to start off with looks and go from there. I know I explain that a lot, but I want people to get the context here. So when I tell someone, “Yeah, there’s this girl. She’s got these eyes that just…and this hair, wow…and her smile. *sigh*” I would hope that they assume that I’m speaking of someone I find “hot”.
I’m not insulted by it, I just think it’s funny that a person, guys I guess, specifically, assume that any woman a guy is attracted to, is possibly not attractive. It’s so strange that the question needs to be thrown out there, as if I’m going to say, “Actually, she’s hideous, and I can only be around her when there’s a bag over her head.” Then there’s the fact that every guy has different tastes, so one man’s derpy is another man’s shmexy. So how does one answer such a loaded question? Why would anyone ever admit that they were into someone who they considered ugly?
Do women do the same thing? I’m guess they do. “Is he cute/hot?” must be asked a lot. And I think women are more…honest than men, and also, more forgiving, as “ugly” mugs like myself have had the honor of gracing the lives of ladies who, in the looks department, are miles above me. So I’m pretty sure it happens from both genders, and it’s funny how we never outgrow those questions, not until we have to live in a retirement home, I suppose. It’s then, according to the ladies, when all old people (for the most part) are adorable, so we’re all on equal footing. Woohoo!
Hopefully someone can shed some light on it, or maybe this is all simply small talk, and something that a person can interject into the conversation to sound interested. Maybe I’m a boring story teller and the only way i could possibly make my recounting of events even remotely interesting is if, for some reason, the woman I’m talking about is a beast. Either way, just thought I’d throw that one out there, and get your thoughts.
