Happiness is a big deal. “I know, right?!” Well, now that I have that out of the way, it’s thanks to a voicemail we received on Geek Love Radio about happiness and living longer. Now on the podcast, it was all in good fun. There were studies saying that relationships determined if you lived longer, and the categories of people who impact your life, but what about happiness? I really didn’t find many studies on joy and life, probably because it’s different per person and hard to measure, but it made me go off my own anecdotal evidence on what makes a person happy. I think though, that before I could understand happiness, I had to understand sadness. PROFOUND! Okay…no it isn’t.
I know A LOT about being sad. Whether it’s depression or post traumatic stress (according to my therapist), or just being bummed, sadness is something that has become something I’m very familiar with. Which is funny, because I know so many people around me who claim I’m just the happiest bloke in the world. Listen to the podcast, and I’m mostly in a good mood. But being “bummed” can give you a great appreciation for being happy. How can you appreciate one if you haven’t had the other? So that idea brought me to thinking about the ingredients to a long and happy life. Like Tommy said in his voicemail. Would it be worth living forever if you were miserable? And why is there such a push for people to be in relationships in order to be happy? I blame Valentine’s Day. Well, I blame a lot of things actually.
It bothers me that there’s a strong emphasis that everyone needs to be paired up in one way or another. In the movie Paper Heart, there was a man who was interviewed, and stated that he stayed single after his marriage didn’t work out. He did not find a need to find another person to replace the one love he lost. Sure he was coupled at one point, and yes, he would still be with that person if she never left, but he decided to stay “alone”. Alone, such a horrible word. “Forever alone” is a horrible phrase. A threat or an insult to those who are not with someone. What’s so bad about being single? It’s not like it makes you mentally deficient or a social pariah. What is everyone’s hang up about being alone? Why can’t we live solo and live happy? Is it such an unusual thought that someone who just prefers the company of friends and maybe the occasional tryst can’t live a happy life? It seems so strange that there’s this thought that there is only one way to live. There’s nothing WRONG with being in a relationship, but there’s also nothing wrong about being single, and that mentally will hopefully change in this weird, angry, hates people, kind of world we live in.
So what does that mean for a longer life? Well, it depends on how you look at it. Do you really want to die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain? It seems that we’re living longer lives, thanks to all the science that’s out there, and of course, you’ll have to figure out how you’re going to live our those years. Are you going to be the crotchety old folk, which I know I’ll most likely end up being, or the sweet, happy go lucky elderly person that everyone seems to adore. I have no idea where I was going with that, but my last example of being with someone determine’s your happiness, even late in life, is “The Notebook”. It’s a movie and novel that has an ending that I think a lot of people wouldn’t mind having…minus the Alzheimer’s. You get to an age where you’re ready to go, and you do so with your lover in your arms and you and that person go off peacefully together, into blissful, deadly sleep. Awww…how romantic. But there’s also nothing wrong with the whole being surrounded by family and friends and dying peacefully without the partner, and it’s still sweet. OR! You lived a good and happy life and though you’re alone, you have fantastic stories to tell and people want to be around you.
I’ve known a few people who live life “alone”, but they’re not really alone. They have friends, family, pets, and people they share hobbies with. So we’re never truly alone, just romantically alone. Which again, what’s the problem with that? The stigma of the single life seems like it’s a dying fad, and hopefully it is. I think it’s because society has a very specific definition of what it means to be happy. You have to be with someone, you have to have love, you have to have money, you have to have the the nice car, and you have to have money…did I mention money? Why do we allow the outside world to determine what brings us joy in life? Especially in the crap-tastic world we live in now where people are struggling left and right. If those things determined our happiness, then I think we’d all be screwed.
Someone once told me that happiness is not a product of the what you have and what’s happening in your life, but of how you perceive those things. It’s not an “it could be worse” mentality, which I think is just rubbish anyway. Of course it could be worse! That’s not a reason to be happy. But look at your situation and take joy in what you have. Like learning something positive from a bad scenario or finding joy in the fact that you had a good meal, or good friends, or even saw a good movie. Small things, but they all lead to being a happier person. I think that’s why the religious can be so happy. They reflect on how they’re blessed. Well, this is kind of like that, and if you’re religious, more power to you. If you’re not, then just try to work everything in a positive light. I know that’s how I stayed positive for a long while. I was just seeing the good in everything and everyone.
Therefore, I think…that happiness is not a result of love or being “alone”, it’s about what you do with yourself and how you handle what life throws at you. You determine your happiness, and I believe that can lead to a long life. You’ll do things that make you feel good, bring you bliss, and you’ll probably gain years under your belt. So, what will help you live longer? Who knows, and who cares? Everything is killing us nowadays if you listen to the news and whatnot. Either way, as you can see, that question about happiness really got me thinking about a lot. I realize we here on the blog and podcasts, are pretty cynical people, but that doesn’t mean we don’t strive to be happy. Because isn’t that the real goal in life? No one can be happy one hundred percent of the time, but working towards being happy for you is a pretty good place to start.
