So as I was hunting the interwebs for some interesting articles to discuss here on the blog, I stumbled upon one about monogamy on a web site called Em Lo. I found the article interesting, as it pointed out the top ten reasons to be and stay monogamous. As a monogamist myself, I thought that it was a fairly light and enjoyable article that had some pretty interesting points. The points seemed valid, and had some humor as it ended with simply “Scrabble”. Then, i did something I normally don’t do when I read articles like this, and I read the comments. I realize I mention marriage is a dying breed, but monogamy itself I felt was still a fairly viable way of living. You can date a person for a long time and just stay with that person for life or until it doesn’t work out. So I still retain some of my old fashioned sensibilities, but maybe I’m actually obsolete in my ways of thinking.
Comments from all sorts of polyamorous relationships came up, defending that the lifestyle of choice is having more than one partner, or being in committed relationships with more than one person. Some argue that due to the high divorce rate, that monogamy was a thing of the past. I don’t know about that. Now of course, in my previous relationship, I did try to dabble in the whole open relationship thing, and it probably would have worked out early in my last relationship. But as it evolved and grew, I became more and more monogamous. I didn’t want to share my girlfriend with anyone else, and I didn’t want anyone else. I was content with just her. My jealousy would get the best of me, and no matter the reasoning behind it, be it insecurity or an innate human trait, it still ruled my reasoning. I couldn’t imagine being an in open relationship with someone I began to commit myself to. I guess, it was because I couldn’t see myself with other women that I would have a problem with her being with other men.
So the comments grew more and more defensive, criticizing the original article that I felt was aimed towards people of the mindset of being with only one person for as long as they loved each other. The article mostly had a beef with cheating, which I agree with. Cheating is like a drug, and becomes more prevalent the more you do it. I hate to say that once a cheater, always a cheater, as that’s cliche as hell, but it may be true. You’ll ALWAYS find an opposing view on that idea as well as simple monogamy. But being monogamous doesn’t seem the norm, and I’m not basing that on the divorce rate. That’s just people who don’t know what they want, and decide to get into something that’s obviously over their head. I’m basing it on the comments of this article!
Its so amazing how…it almost seems wrong to be with just one person. That the concept of more than one partner, not cheating, should be embraced. That’s the one thing the two opposing parties had in common, they didn’t condone cheating. But it looks like that being in open relationships is like the way to go. Of course, that’s a small number of people who commented like that, and that’s just a portion of the population, but they are so loud and so strong about their beliefs, I couldn’t help but be like…wow, they exist and they’re not as rare as I thought. There are enough that there were a handful to comment on this article.
So, I guess the moral of the story is, I’m totally old school and the concept of being with multiple people in a mature relationship is the way to keep a monogamous relationship alive…I know that sounds contradictory, but that’s the feeling I get from the commenters of the article. What do you think?
Links:
via: Em and Lo: Top 10 Reasons For Staying and Being Monogamous
statistics: Marriage and Divorce Rates by Country: 1980-2007
