Whenever I write something like this, I always try to look at that subject matter from my perspective and the perspective of a man who doesn’t give a crap. A man Tom Lykis would be proud of. Someone who doesn’t get emotionally attached and is just a jerk or an a-hole or something. A guy who’s just in it for the sex and has no emotional ties to any woman he meets. Then I realize, those guys are rare. They’re like an epic loot drop from an elite mob. It happens, but not all that often. This post has nothing to do with statistics, or studies, or an article I found. This is just a guy grabbing his dice and letting it all fly, hoping somebody gets something out of all this.
Forgive this rather depressing post today. Having had time to lay down and think a lot, I find myself reminiscing to a time when I was happy with someone I loved deeply. Needless to say, I also dreamed of it being good and happy, last night. My dreams have been a constant…umm…reminder of what had transpired this last year. I guess when I’m awake I can let it go, or at least I’m too busy to think about it. My mind goes onto other things and I share my time with people who keep me preoccupied. But yet, I still think of her, and this honesty is necessary. I think I need to let it out, and talk about it…even to you out there in the vastness of the internet, in order to continue to get over it all.
I guess this whole situation has left a gaping wound that is slow to heal, but it is healing and has healed a hell of a lot over the last year. And what I say to you out there who may be experiencing what I’m feeling…know that its not forever. Know that even if you wish you could have those days back, new days with new people will come around. Oddly enough, I see people all the time who’ve been through what I’ve been through and are been better for it. They definitely outnumber the people who are worse for wear.
And though you may never be able to look into the mind of the one who kicked your heart in the ass, part of you hopes that they miss the old times too. And despite the anger and resentment you may have had, or still have for that person, all you can hope is that their life becomes better. And all you can do is live life happily and better than it was before. Weird right? If you made it this far you’re either in a situation like that or can relate to it. Now, I’ve talked about this in posts before, and I’ve given advice and tried to make it seem better than it is. I even probably talked about how everyone gets over it in their own pace. But you all know that. I’m here to talk about something I just found out from all my dreams and whatnot.
It’s going to be a part of you for a long time, maybe until you die. Yeah, the screams will fade to a mere whisper, but if they were that big a deal in your life, then their impact will resonate with you for awhile or for your entire life. It happens, embrace it, keep going and there’s technically nothing wrong with you reminiscing about what was as long as it doesn’t interfere with what is. Don’t let the past, ruin your future.
