A lot of times men are told that say the wrong things to women. Of course, I understand that as I’ve said a lot of wrong things in my time. And yet when a woman says something wrong to her man, its usually overlooked. Now, I know every relationship has its own set of pet peeves. Many of which, hell, are probably no big deal to other people. But when it comes to knowing what to say and when to say it, I think we can all learn a lesson here. Don’t put your foot in your mouth no matter how well intentioned you are. Because honestly, those toes don’t taste so good. On that note, we’ll be focusing on the ladies mostly, and what they shouldn’t say to their man. Disclaimer: I may be saying “your man” a lot in this, that’s just an easier way of encompassing all possible relationship ties you may have with him without turning this post into 20 page EULA.
This first one, I think applies to both sexes. Don’t talk about your past relationships in any way shape or form. Even if its in a complimenting way, saying that your man or woman was better than the others in your life. There’s a good chance your significant other will jump to conclusions and start thinking badly about you or him/her. Its not a self esteem thing, its you pointing out failed relationships.
Don’t question a man’s spending habits. We’re boys and we like our toys. We like our tech, or our cars, or our sports memorabilia. If you’re concerned about how your man budgets his money, then take time out to discuss budgeting, when its not at Best Buy. Make it a discussion, don’t nag, and you’ll probably see some results.
When a guy is annoyed about something, like something as petty as someone chewing gum loudly in a theater, or being late to an event, don’t belittle him about it. Now I know you mean well. I mean, I’ve been known to say things that don’t help the situation, but instead just let the guy know you are aware of it and that you’re sorry. Men, do this with your ladies too. You guys are in a relationship for a reason, right? Support each other, people!
Its best to avoid dictating who your significant other should be friends with. That opens a door to a very messy closet. In other words, you’re bringing in a lot of emotions, like jealousy and suspicion when you suggest your man be friends with this “great” guy, or your lady be friends with this “awesome” girl. Not only are we capable of making friends on our own, but it just makes our imaginations flow with scenarios that can only lead to bad, bad things.
I don’t necessarily believe that secret sharing is such a bad thing. You are telling him that you trust him and that you want to share with him something that you want to talk about. Yeah, it may be gossiping, but I think its overlooked that guys gossip too. Its just differently, and probably not as detailed. But we men stay informed, I think we have to.
Finally, be open minded about the things your man wants to do with you. Don’t tell him that’s something you did in the past and won’t do anymore, because that’ll lead to some sad…sad times. Instead of saying, “Yeah, I used to do that when I was younger, now…not so much.” Why not talk about the things you do find fun now. Things that you’ve wanted to do that you find fun and exciting. Then it’ll sound something like, “Actually, I’ve really wanted to go to this Comic Book Convention…” Okay, maybe that’s just me…being wildly imaginative.
Update: Via MSN Lifestyle: http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlematch.aspx?cp-documentid=25007364 GT1=32023
