By: Lisa
Small talk is a social skill I know I haven rsquo;t mastered yet (there rsquo;s a lot I haven rsquo;t mastered). Small talk usually occurs when I rsquo;m caught off guard. I don rsquo;t perform well when I rsquo;m caught off guard. I rsquo;m usually deep in thought about something and then I rsquo;ll hear my name come from behind me and I become startled. I go into ldquo;run away rdquo; mode and do not know what to do. Such a thing happened to me this weekend. The universe was working against me and pretty much put any possible obstacle in my way toward achieving mad small talk skills.
My mother rsquo;s birthday was last week and I wasn rsquo;t able to go out to dinner with her and my dad because I rsquo;d been working late all week. So, I threw out the idea of going to brunch because brunch is amazing. Well, according to my parents, brunch is at 9 a.m. I could have sworn it should have involved more sleeping in, but it was for my mom, so I woke up. I rsquo;m not my best at 9 a.m. regardless of the situation. I rsquo;m okay at 9 a.m., but I rsquo;m not my totally awesome self that I usually am.
So, at brunch I rsquo;m standing in the line for waffles looking at these two sad waffles, wondering if I should take them or wait for a new fresh batch to come out. I have a few people behind me and I rsquo;m starting to think I rsquo;m taking too long and they rsquo;re all wishing for my death. I then hurry and throw together my sad waffle. I think about the pile of bacon I want to snatch some more bacon from. I walk about two feet and I hear, ldquo;Lisa? rdquo; My stomach drops because I know this is going to be awkward no matter who it is. I turn around and lo and behold it rsquo;s this guy who is a dreamboat whom I used to know.
Background on this dude: I knew him a few years ago. I thought he was too good for me. I hung out with him a few times, but was always extremely nervous around him. So, I never told him how I felt, and never made a move.
I didn rsquo;t look in a mirror, but I rsquo;m sure I then turned some shade of red.
ldquo;Hey, Lisa. How are you? rdquo; said man.
ldquo;OH! Hey! I rsquo;m fine. How are you? rdquo;
ldquo;I rsquo;m good! rdquo; I then did an about-face, grabbed something that wasn rsquo;t bacon, and ran back to the table I was sitting at with my family. I honestly don rsquo;t remember exactly what was said. When I sat down with my family I began to explain what had just happened, even though I was not quite sure myself what had just happened. I sat down repeating ldquo;oh my god. rdquo; Luckily, the restaurant was large and the booth we were sitting in was tucked into a corner. I did not see him again for the rest of the meal. I could barely finish my sad waffle.
On the drive home with my sister, I of course freaked out about this the entire way. I thought he probably thought I was a total idiot or did not want to talk to him. I mean, the guy has a girlfriend now and I am totally happy for him. I would want to be more of a friend with him, but I rsquo;d still think he was too good for me. As I bitched and moaned about how horrible my life is because I can rsquo;t have conversations with this guy, my sister actually gave me some advice that made sense. I felt so strongly that his guy was too good for me that a relationship would not have worked out. I would have been more insecure than I already am and would have been a crazy psycho bitch. I can rsquo;t change the fact I never talked to him, and next time if I think someone is out of my league, I should just try talking to the guy. If he rejects me, it is not the end of the world. Unless talking to a hot guy involves caught-off-guard small talk, then I rsquo;m totally screwed.
In conclusion, there are a few things I rsquo;ve learned from this experience that hopefully I won rsquo;t do again. Such as, totally running away from a conversation just because I feel uncomfortable. Also, maybe if I know how to engage in small talk I would be more likely to talk to men I normally would not dream of talking to. I learned that I really need to figure out how to deal with rejection and accept it more, and that I rsquo;m not a worthless human being if I get rejected a few times. I just really wanted to share this story of failed small talk because I do believe small talk can lead to a lot of different types of relationships, and if you succeed at this you will probably get a lot further with the opposite sex.
Edited by: PhantomFlapjack
