*sigh* Okay, again…I had a thought out, beautiful post, taking me half an hour to do, and what does Windows do? Refreshes my screen and deletes all that I’ve written. I hate you…Windows and your stupid updates. If you told me it was going to do that, I wouldn’t have done it in the first place!!!!
Fine, here I go again. I’m writing this post because of two reasons. One, I feel like I’m going through this scenario, and two, Sincere Sarcasm and Geek Love Radio have always emphasized being yourself, without compromise.
The following will apply more to the men, because, well, ladies, if you want to get a man’s attention, just show off some cleavage, dress seductively, and let them think they have a chance at sex, and most likely a guy is putty in your hands. For men, the scenario could never play out like that unless you had a lot of money. And again, the money thing doesn’t apply to all women, while the sex thing applies to pretty much every straight man out there. But that’s beside the point. Ladies, read on either way, I think it’ll be informative for you too.
Do you remember those movies and TV shows back in the 90’s, where there were all these teenage comedies or dramas where the guy would pretty much lie to the girl’s face for one reason or another, find out that girl is awesome, fall in love with them, and eventually tell them the whole truth or the truth is found out? Yeah, and do you remember what happened afterwards? Most of the time the girl would dump the guy, kick him to the curb, and hate him for a few scenes until he shows how truly wonderful he is and what a nice guy he was, and she takes him back because of some lame romantic gesture. I know in our minds we look at that and say “that’s not reality”, but at the same time, we think it is. Its the ideal reality, something people want to have in their lives.
Should something like that play out in our real life, we’d most likely never see the girl again; they’d have trust issues with us even if we did, and it would just be a miserable mess. I’m not saying, don’t try to impress a girl when you see the potential for a relationship, but don’t lie to her either. Dating is like finding a job, you want to impress your future employer, girlfriend, with a fancy, pretty resume with a cover letter that shows off all your good qualities, but…you better live up to those promises. You can’t say you’re a romantic, and then never do anything romantic. You can’t say you’re punctual and never show up on time.
Not compromising your self worth and who you are is like a weeding out process, and maybe one girl won’t like it, but there’ll be another one who does. People say that’s a failure, but it’s really a triumph. I mean, would you want to be with someone for years who eventually can’t stand you? Do you want to date someone who looks at you and thinks, “I could be doing something else”. You don’t want to settle for sure, but you definitely don’t want THEM to settle. Unless you’re just really selfish, then, well, good luck with that.
Now we get to the more sensitive part, the negatives of who you are. Being yourself doesn’t mean showing your cards all at once. Maybe you’re quick to disclose everything about you, maybe you snore or hate cats. You know, you don’t want to scare the person right away. Be slow about it, show off the positive things, because you want to make sure that you put your best foot forward. And you’re being sincere about the positive things about you. Let that sink in, and then as time passes, let the negative seep through. Maybe you despise the Beatles, or you like to watch porn (its not “negative, but the ladies aren’t keen to that), whatever it is that you think might be negative. If she’s truly into you, that negative will just wash through anyway, and you can continue on with your happy relationship, but don’t hide it. It may seem like common sense, but it isn’t. Its our defense mechanism to save our own hides!
Finally, I’m talking about being realistic. Its a rare thing to find someone who like ALL of you. You’re not going to like ALL of her. That’s a given. Unless you two grew up exactly the same way, with no deviation, you two will be different. So be realistic and know that just because they don’t like SOME aspects of you doesn’t mean they won’t like the rest, or same with you buddy. Just because you don’t like some things a girl does, doesn’t mean you completely kick them to the curb! Sometimes “love” (or whatever you want to call it), takes time. People grow into it, but again, as long as you are who you say you are.
To put a finer point on it, I’m doing the above. I am being myself, I am interested in this particular girl, and I’m following my own advice. I’m being open and honest. I can’t tell if she’s interested in me, which is fine, but maybe in time she will be. We are friends, and gentlemen, that’s not a bad place to start, and in time, who knows. But you know what? I’m enjoying the ride.
So happy dating people. Its the holidays, a time of weird miracles and good times. Sometimes, the best things happen during the holidays. Just keep your eyes and heart open, and stop being cynical! Because you never know…what’s around the corner!
