I’ve always had someone in my life to keep me company. Whether its family, friends, a girlfriend, a wife, I’ve always had someone in life to keep me company in some way shape or form. I’ve never been “alone” for a long period of time. Even when I was living out of my car, I still had friends to see almost every day. So, circumstances have never really given me alone time. But maybe it’s not circumstances, maybe its me. There are people out there who can’t stand being alone. They have to be in a relationship of some shape or form or they go crazy.
And I’m not just talking any kind of relationship, I mean, couples. People need to be a couple to give their life meaning. Now I’ll be one of the people to admit that I’ve been in that position. When I was younger, before I was married, I had at least one relationship every year. Yes, I had cold fronts where I was single for months on end, almost entire years, but it was never for very long. And that’s being generous. Some people can’t stand being without someone for a few months, weeks, maybe even days. And sometimes its just for the sex, but a lot of times, I feel, its for the companionship.
Have you ever really felt lonely? Been alone with your thoughts so that all you could do in your free time was have conversations with yourself. Yes, you still have friends you hang out with, family you talk to, I mean, very few people can get away from that. But have you ever found yourself coming home from work, to an empty house, with no one to keep you company but yourself?
I had a lot of alone time living in my car, I’ll be the first to admit that. Yes, I saw my friends during the day because they went to school with me, but I often found myself flying solo. Your brain goes crazy sometimes. You think about things that you normally don’t think about. For me, it was all depressing stuff, for obvious reason, but it also plagued me that I couldn’t be alone. And that’s a problem, don’t you think?
More and more people can’t stand to be by themselves for long periods of time. Maybe its because they’re horny, or lonely, or need someone to talk to. But why do people always need to be in a relationship. Maybe you’re one of those people. I know when I was there, when I needed to have someone, it was because I hate not having someone to share my thoughts with, someone to be intimate with, someone be nasty with. Even now, after being single for over a year, technically more, I’m asked how I survive.
Someone will harass me for sure when I say, I don’t look for sex during my time being single. Yes, I endorse it, and if you can get it, more power to you, but for me, its not my way. I want to actually have an emotional connection with someone if I’m going to sleep with them. But anyway, that’s part of being single. I’m not dating, I’m trying to live life as a single guy, and when it happens, it happens. If I meet someone and they are into me as much as I’m into them, then there you go. But I know its hard, its hard for me not to just go out there and jump online, and go on Match or OKCupid and try to find someone.
Its hard for me not to just put myself in a situation to where I can find someone, but why do I need it? Why do you need it? That’s the thing, you don’t. Wow, that was a long winded way to get to my point, wasn’t it? Damn, I hope it was worth it. Because I think if you’re a person who needs to be with someone, at all times every day, of every year, then you have a problem. Its an obsession, and that’s usually unhealthy.
Think about it, what’s the worst that can happen if you were single for one year, two years. Are you a loser? Well, no, you’re not. Especially if you’ve had relationships before. Its just called restraint. If you’ve NEVER had a relationship before, then…well…uhh…that’s a whole other blog post. Its not a bad thing, but maybe you’re just doing it wrong. Anyway, this is for people who are always in relationships anyway, and you need to stop and take a break.
Like I’ve said before. Relationships are fun, fantastic, brilliant, and a job. And with every job you get vacation time. Look at your single life as vacation from your job. You need it to unwind, to kind of gather yourself and your thoughts. When you find yourself not NEEDING a relationship, then you’re ready to go back to dating. Because you’ll be able to handle relationships better. How? By taking your time with it, by realizing that the first person you have a connection with isn’t the person you’re in love with. Time alone lets you learn about yourself, about the things you want in life, the things you want in yourself. With that, you’ll hopefully learn what you’re looking for in others. You’ll be comfortable with yourself, and you won’t force yourself to get into a relationship. You’ll let it happen naturally. You’re okay if it doesn’t work out, and you can move on.
That’s freedom. How great is that feeling knowing that you’re not bound to your boyfriend or your girlfriend? How wonderful is it to know that you aren’t tied down if you don’t want to be? How comforting is it to know that you don’t need a relationship to survive? Its got to be a relief, right?
Now this only applies to people who want relationships, who jump into love without thinking about what they’re jumping into. Valentine’s Day is around the corner, and maybe you’re feeling the itch of love. this goes out to you. Take a breather people. If you’re one of those guys or gals just wanting to get laid…well, you should calm down too. Don’t want you all getting sloppy. Good luck though, people. Let me know how its like being single for awhile, or how you can’t stand not being in a relationship.
