via Public Domain PicturesSo you found a girl or guy that you’re all into, and they’re dreamy, smart, and all that good stuff that makes you wish you can just smack lips with them right then and there. We’ve all met those people, but for some…there’s a catch. they have NO idea that you’re into them. This happens to people young and old, experienced and unexperienced. Its all because relationships are…is(?) like dancing, as it takes two to tango. You’ve probably heard that, and I guess I just killed that phrase. But anyway, so you find yourself in a situation when you find out your friend, your acquaintance, that girl you talk to at the bookstore, the guy you flirt with at the coffee shop…you get the idea…is amazing and you want to date them. But you don’t know how they feel about you?
Most romantic comedies and sitcoms…if those things still exist, live off that premise. And sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t, but obviously it doesn’t happen like it does on the big or little screen. Its tough to let your feelings show, because there’s so much at stake. You lose the friendship, you make the acquaintance feel awkward, you become embarrassed in public if you ask the girl over the counter out. There’s a risk, there’s something on the line. Can it survive if you confess you’re interest?
Well, I did, and things are okay. I told a girl that I’m into her, I’m infatuated with her, that I like her, for all the right reasons. She’s smart, pretty, funny, a geek, well read, and all the things I would look for in a lady. And we’re still friends. It worked out for me, and I don’t know how. Sure it was awkward at first, but it doesn’t have to be. But maybe you’re not ready to take the risk, then don’t. Its honestly hard to tell for a guy to see if a girl is interested. For women, its pretty easy, we guys are transparent when it comes to being interested in women. So guys, you have to let her make the first move. Just because she flirts with you, doesn’t mean she’s interested.
There was this girl I used to work with, who was very attentive. She laughed at all my jokes, took the time to talk to me, to spend time with me, and she flirted with me. I thought, for sure this girl liked me, and I was interested in her too. So I took the next step, asked her out. Low and behold, she was not interested in me in any way, she just thought it was a fun little thing we had going. It was all just fun times for her, but for me, I thought it was going to be something. I never really talked to her again because it was awkward from then on out. And women wonder why guys aren’t more assertive?
Of course, sometimes if you don’t take the risk, you miss out on an opportunity. Years ago, there was a girl in my psychology class who I talked to, flirted with, etc. She returned the favor and it was that last scenario, just a different person. After class I’d walk her to her next class, or we’d just sit outside the library and talk. It was fantastic, and fun, and when I asked her out, it was a success. So really, your mileage may vary.
So maybe you think I’m not giving anything definitive, and maybe you’re more confused than ever. Well, I’m here to tell you that if you’re into this girl or ladies, if you’re into this guy…well, again you’ll know if he wants to date you and all that so its easier for you, ladies….but guys take the risk. I think that even if the worst that can happen is a no, or maybe things get weird, then move on. Of course, this is for more of the casual encounters. If its a friend of yours, then you should probably be more in tuned to whether or not they like you, so the risk is less. Still, I think that if you want to date someone or go out with them you just need to take the plunge.
I believe its better to get it out of the way, out of your system even, than to let it fester inside you. Always wondering what if. Unless you’re a person who can just let it go and move on with your life, then its just one less thing to think about. You talk about it, you ask them out, they dump you, you move one. But I know quite a few people who go around with their heart on their sleeve, even if its a bit disheartening, its still worth it. Because if they say yes, and it turns out good (and yes, I know there’s the potential for it to turn out bad, think positive people!) then you’ll be happy you took the risk. If they say no, at least you don’t have to always wonder, and see what’s around the corner. You’re allowed to mope a little if you need to. But just a little, don’t go overdoing it.
So I wish you luck out there, those balancing on the wire, wondering if they’ll take the plunge. If the risk is too high, like the possibility of ruining a friendship, then better off just keeping it to yourself, but if its not as “life changing”, then I say risk it. Puff out your chest, hold your head up high and say…well…that part is up to you.
