Image: Kane Gledhill / FreeDigitalPhotos.netOkay, this idea came from a podcast I’m listening to right now, and they’re using it in a different context. So I’m stealing this idea!!! Mostly because, its odd that they’re bringing this subject up at around the time that I was mentioning it with friends the night before, and watched a movie about it a few weeks back. Anyway, that’s not the point, but the subject of fate and destiny is a common device used in cinema, literature, television to explain how two people get together in a story.
We look at the ideas of “what if”, when you get into the world of fate. For example, “If this didn’t happen or this didn’t happen, we’d have never been together, and aren’t we so happy together? ” This happens not only in the movies, but it happens in our real life. Of course, a popular argument is about free will, and whether or not we make our own paths in life or whether or not its predetermined, and all that good stuff. And of course, if you think about it, its a bunch of people’s free wills that determine whether or not an event happens, like meeting the girl or guy of your dreams. It was a series of choices that got you and that person there to meet, and if other choices were made…well, maybe you two would have never met. Does that mean we are a victim of the choices we make or is it all part of some grand plan?
That’s how some people approach relationships on the surface sometimes, and I’ll admit that I’m part of this. For me, its much more satisfying to find myself a wonderful woman under circumstance. Where I can play with the idea that this pairing was supposed to happen. Of course, that could be me being just complately lazy and not going out of my way to go and join a dating website or going up to some random woman I happen to meet on the street and asking them out. I enjoy the concept that I am in a situation, in a place where I meet someone for some reason and we get along and we get together because well, we are just awesome together. That is of course, leaving the whole thing to chance. What are the chances I’ll meet someone beautiful, geeky, and actually has interest in me? Well, let’s not get into the numbers, but again, there’s a romanticism to that.
Then of course, there’s people like Lisa and Dave, two people, for their own reasons, went out to make their relationships happen. It’s no secret that Lisa actively pursued the boyfriend she has now by showing her attraction and getting a date from it and thensome. Dave went out often, taking the advice from the internet to try and find a date that way. It instead lead to some woman, who ended up being racist and thus not his type, to ask him out and there was a brief triste there. From those scenarios alone it seems that a little bit of our choices and a lot of chance causes the gravitation of two people who were “meant to be”.
Now I’m under the idea that things in our lives happen for a reason. There’s something to learn from every good and bad event that occurs. Even after over a year of having to deal with being separated then divorced, and having to absorb the idea of having to be single again and loving life again and using that experience as a learning experience…its still tough to look at that positively. I mean, yeah, I found out that I was with a woman who had much left to discover about herself and about her life, and it probably needed to turn out this way to benefit her more than me, but how hard is it to really look at that situation and say, “at least I learned something”. But yet, I still believe that things happen for a reason. Coincidence is but a mask on something that you need to learn and grow from. We’ll meet whom we’ll love and live a happy life with at a time when our choices bring us together.
So are people brought together by fate or do our choices cause our lives to cross? Were you meant to be with the man or woman you’re with now? Did you break up or get broken up with at an ideal time to let the right one in? Are you single because that’s what you need right now and what you need to learn from, and thus destiny hasn’t brought to you that girl or guy you are looking for? What do you think about all this talk?
