If you find yourself as one of those people who hasn’t been in a relationship in awhile, or maybe you are one of those people who likes to just jump into relationships at the drop of a hat, this is for you. As someone who hasn’t been in the game for awhile, and is just getting back into it, it becomes easy to find yourself getting caught up when someone gives you a little bit of attention. I’ve mentioned in the past that people labeled “geek” or “nerd” have difficulty, for the most part, to figure out if someone is flirting with them or not. Women are fickle beings, and I know you ladies can’t argue with that. You are able to differentiate men into the friend or the lover, if you recall the ladder system. But anyway, for men…it’s pretty clear cut. So enough of the back story.
So when you find someone, a beautiful girl, for instance, giving you attention, I know that in the past I’ve just jumped on the idea that maybe, just maybe they’re into you enough to want to date you. Because isn’t that the ultimate goal of every guy who meets a lovely woman? To admire, allure, entice, and eventually get that woman to want them back as much. Then you get caught up in the whirlwind of emotion and sooner or later, you’ll get rejected, because that attention you were getting was meant to say, “Hey, you’d make a great friend.” Of coure, this doesn’t happen all the time, but it happens more than, “Hey, I want you to ask me out idiot and date me already.” So before you go rubbing up on her and figuring that she’s all into you, you need to really take a step back. Because women ultimately determine the pairing, we as men, just put in our resumes and hope we get hired.
I think that’s the overall suggestion I need to give to all the readers of this blog, is just take a step back. People are reactionary in nature, and they don’t take the time to look at what the hell is going on in front of them before saying…well…let’s just do this. Was that confusing? Hmm, it was kind of confusing to me…so uh…think of it this way. The moment a girl shows you interest, take a step back and look at what you’re doing. It’s really difficulty to do, to look at everything you’re doing. I mean, who does that really? But as hard as it is, you’ll realize that the moment you start taking things slower…taking the time to choose your words and your actions, you’ll be able to actually HEAR what the other person is saying. You’re actually listening to yourself and them, and not just hearing them.
Things start coming together, words make sense, and you’ll be able to tell if you’re being let down kindly, or if they’re genuinely interested. Because honestly, women flirt simply because its easy for them. They do it to to everyone, even amongst themselves, “Great shoes”, “I love your hair, its cute”, etc. It could be intentionally evil, it oculd be just being nice, but either way, we men…we fall for it. We eat up their words and attention and yes this sounds like a rant…because it kind of is. Dating is a hard game, where looks stand out and personality is second. Where we get caught up in attraction, in the way their eyes look, their hair flows, and their smile attacks you. And then we forget to take that moment, to think about the situation, and to not fall into a possible trap. “It’s a TRAP!”
But it all makes sense in the end. Because hell, don’t we all want to be with someone who actually WANTS to be with us? Where we’re not settling with the first person who gives us attention or shows us love, we actually make the effort to make each relationship worthwhile? Why the hell do you think there’s so many divorces, break ups, early pregnancies, child support, misery? Because people jump the gun, people want so badly to be wanted, desire so much to be loved, to have someone to care for or care for them. Its amazingly complex, delightfully frustrating, but ultimately beautiful.
The sad reality, for many, is that you may never find that person who’ll be perfect for you. Some will say this reinforces the fairytale of happily ever after. Its not about that, it has nothing to do with finding the perfect person, or your soul mate. To do that would mean to never give anyone a chance, because they have to fit your criteria of the perfect match. Sure, maybe seven people in the world has found them…but…Wow, okay, I’m off on a strange tangent. Just know that the fact that people don’t put effort into finding a good relationship, that just jump into every relationship that comes their way, make half assed relationships, that causes most of the problems out there, that give guys a bad name, and women a worse name. But…we are selfish beings, we do without thinking because our passion rules our reason, and I’ve gone on a strange ranting spree. I hope you got the point
