This may not be news to mose people, but people are not all that fantastic. I was going to start with “people suck”, but I felt that wouldn’t capture the essense of why people…suck. So yes, people are not all that great, sometimes…most of the time…okay, well, enough of the time. Which makes sense why people often find themselves on guard. Just last night I was out with a group of friends, sharing a meal, talking about all sorts of random nonesense and I am again struck by the realization that my guard is down when I am around them. I found myself selective on whom I allow in. I allow myself to be vulnerable around a select group of people. Then it struck me, what happened to the old me? The guy who’s buddies with you until you stab him repeatedly in the back with a dull, rusty, plastic knife and even THEN, still thinks you’re cool. But alas…I’ve known and heard and read about a lot of people who are just so blindly trusting, and so eager to find themselves vulnerable in front of others and it’s amazing! I was one of them, but no longer…and is that a bad thing?
Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.netThere’s something quaint about those people who trust so openly. They spill their life stories without much prompting or hesitation, and you find out their dog has worms, their spouse smells funny sometimes, and their car makes a rattling noise. That’s all fine and good, but what does one get out of spilling their guts like that? Mind you, as of late, I have have had a very irrational thought that everyone is out to get me, for the most part. “Trust no one.” But I have nothing to hide. My life is bland, for the most part. But yet, I feel that if I open up a bit, trust a bit, they’ll use all that BS and turn it into a noose…okay, yes, I’m being melodramatic…I got one hour of sleep last night because of a bad shoulder and my mind is on overdrive on this subject. But it can feel like that sometimes people.
Yet I prefer to stay on guard. I become selective, to the point of where practically everyone is being interviewed on whether or not they are “worthy” of my trust, in which I hold in so much information that very few people really get to know me. I know I’m not all that, and honestly, I know that my trust isn’t all that important to most people. Like I said, I’m being irrational, this is an irrational thought, yet…I know I’m not alone. Not until they get past my defenses, or are incredibly hot, will they know anything about me. For some reason, beautiful women can pretty much get me to share with them way more than I intended. Of course, beautiful women do that to all men. Smart, beautiful women are the worst, because now you WANT them and then…well, that leads to more irrational thought.
So how can anyone expect to find a relationship with anyone if they’re closed off? How would a guy like myself possibly feel he would have a chance with any woman if he’s just a mute. Now I’m not suggesting that people go out there and and spread their story like a plague, but risks must be taken in the world of relationships. You can’t let silence fall just because a pretty girl is trying to have a conversation with you. See, that’s what some people do. They’ll turn a conversation around where you’ll find yourself asking about someone and end up just talking about yourself. The ole switcheroo. That’s what happens when you’re on the defensive, and you’re just shooting yourself in the foot. Can’t trust them, can’t let them in. Of course, if you go the opposite, you’re just as bad, and yes moderation is the key here…but this trust thing is big stuff. That makes or breaks people. You’re trust of a person, once lost, may never happen again. Your trust in freakin’ humanity can go and may never come back again. Oh man…that’s a big deal! Which is why I think most people are in one extreme and another and the minority actually know how to actually balance it out!
I guess it all comes back to the saying, once bitten, twice shy. In other words, if you were screwed over once, you put your fists up, you bob and weave, and you get ready for that next round trying to make sure you’re not going to get hit again…that you’re not going to get knocked down again. So there’s the problem. I can see it from both sides, and I’ve been on both sides. I used to have the motto, “You have my trust, until you lose it.” Now it’s, “You’ve got to work for my trust. Have fun.”
Maybe in the end it really doesn’t matter. I watched a movie called “Our Idiot Brother,” and the main character believes that everyone will do good if you give them a chance, or something to that effect. Can you leave yourself that open? Is it naive to believe that people, if given the chance, will treat you well and do the right thing? Or are all people out for themselves and out to screw you the first chance they got?
Okay, I’m going to sleep now. Once my mind defrags I’ll write about more…coherent things. But, tell me your thoughts on this matter and how you handle the trust subject.
