The other day I was told about a situation where a friend of a friend is continuing an affair with a married man. This is not about the cheating man, because we cover cheating a lot, mostly because people seem to really like cheating, but my focus is on…can you guess? Should I tell you? Okay, before you move on, I will. We’re talking about the friend. Let’s call her Jan. Now Jan is the friend of April who happens to be dating the married man by the name of Jun. Now Jan is cool with this because her friend April is happy. April is so content with Jun, and Jan wants to see April happy and April is happy because Jun is happy with her. So everyone is happy. Isn’t that grand?
Well, I guess you figure I don’t think this is grand, and honestly, this is a fine, tight rope, line, edge we walk when we’re being supportive of our friends in precarious situations. Jan isn’t necessarily wrong about supporting April, but my fundamental problem with all this is that it’s supporting something that’s inherently wrong..to me. If Jun wants to have this relationship with April, and if Jan wants Jun to be happy, then maybe…just maybe we should wait until the man’s relationship dissolves and he’s free. But that’s the fault of the cheater and the cheatee, the problem with the friend is that she is not doing anything about it.
Everyone has a moral compass. We all have a different gauge of what is right or wrong, so I can see how this scenario may not seem bad. But the lives involved and the rather haphazard and careless way of handling the intimate relationships will just lead to one thing. Disaster.
So it makes me wonder if people can turn off that little voice in their head that says something is wrong here. If you the reader, looks at this situation, would you think something was wrong? Do you see a problem with a woman dating a married man and the woman’s friend just backing her up in the whole deal? Does anyone other than myself feel that this is just a sign of a bigger problem, where we just enable people to do bad things? Is it okay if people are our friends to do things that are potentially harmful towards other people? Am I just insane and have no real grasp of the real world?!?
Image: t0zz / FreeDigitalPhotos.netAs a person who has been cheated on and who does not advocate the action, though I could be in the minority, I think that it is up to the friend to be the voice of reason. In the scenario, I feel that Jan should be the one to tell April that this relationship with the married man, Jun, will only become more and more complicated. He is already in a relationship, he shouldn’t have to juggle two. That’s not fair to him or to the woman he’s already with. This can destroy lives, families, and the friend should not just idly stand by and watch the world burn. Thank you Alfred. Of course, he also has a responsibility to himself and to his family and his already existing relationship. He’s not much better, no matter how “nice” he is. If he feels like he needs to be a lying liar who lies, then so be it. But if all parties are putting on their blinders, there needs to be someone who should speak up. And no, it’s not me, because I don’t really know any of the parties involved, and really, it’s not my place to say. But it is my place to have an opinion.
The Jan’s of the world. Do not simply observe and watch, unless you agree with this, in which you cannot complain or get mad if you get cheated on, because you are cool with people cheating on each other. We cannot have that double standard where it’s okay for our friend to break up relationships if we find ourselves in a situation where someone else is breaking up our relationships. As you can see, I’m mildly passionate and/or mildy confused about this. But I am one man. Every person lives a different life, has different situations, ideals, and friends, and in the end…I feel, that this particular situation is not okay. If you cannot see what’s wrong with this situation, then that’s fine, because what’s wrong is all in the eyes of the beholder.
