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Do You Hear The Words That Are Coming Out Of My Mouth?

Written from my iPad. It’s really hard to do this.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.netIf you’ve listened to the podcast, you know what I sound like. Pre-cohosts, I had a voice described as “sexy”, and one person told me that they use my voice to help them fall asleep. However the voice sounds, it’s often considered misleading, and it wasn’t more prevalent than when I visited the local coffee shop. The woman at the register was not looking at me, but when I spoke, you can see her eagerly look up in anticipation for someone…good looking? The wash of disappointment that fell over her face just shot my self esteem into the ground. Who doesn’t love that sad look of recognition that the voice doesn’t fit the face. It’s sad, it’s annoying, and is it really too much to ask that you be nice enough to HIDE your disgust.

When I was a teenager I discovered the Internet before it was a thing, which makes me one of the original world wide web hipsters. I was on the web with a bunch of other nerds who happened to discover it at the same time and when chat rooms were not enough, I would call them up on the phone and rack up a bunch of long distance fees. Women I’ve flirted with in states and countries far away told me time and again how much they love my voice. We had to take it to the next level, so we mailed each other glamour shots of our faces. Am I dating myself here? When they get a picture of me or, if somehow I get whatever the webcam program was for Windows 95, they would all have the same reaction, “You look nothing like you sound.” At first I did not think much of it, but then I realized shortly after, that they expected a good looking guy behind this voice. I was aware of my lack of attractiveness! Never claimed to be good looking, but you can’t help but feel a little slighted when someone actually SOUNDS disappointed.

It’s not even the fact that they’re disappointed, because I have disappointed plenty of people in my day, but that they are not afraid to let me know. Again, I don’t think my voice is all that great, but would it kill you not to remind me that I’m no Channing Tatum? I guess my na iuml;vet eacute; has overtaken my grip on reality and yeah, I’m a little butt hurt for sure, mostly because I’m glad people like my voice, I just wish they would not have high expectations on the looks behind the voice.

Finally, my name. Francis is NOT a girl’s name! Don’t assume that you see the name Francis, that you’re talking with a girl. Frances with an E is a girl’s name. I was told the other day that my name was old school, which is nice, I like being old school. That’s much better than assuming that I am a woman. And there are many great Francis’ out there. It was also suggested I change my name to Erik. It apparently sounds more masculine. I think it’s a good name, I don’t honestly know if it sounds more masculine, but Erik. “Yeah Erik!”