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What's in the Swag Bag? Apparently Good Looks &…Swag.

As an “older” geek, I’m not always privy as to what’s “cool”. Often times I’m educated by other people on what it’s like to be “rachet” and whatnot. People are often telling me how to dress, as apparently I do not dress well from either side of the fence. The nerd girls want to see me in more hipster doofus/geek duds, while another group is pushing for me to gain “swag”. Okay, that should be it with quotation marks. But swag, that’s what fascinates me, because apparently that’s a thing even among the internets. Swag isn’t just a style, it’s a way of life.

In this discussion of the hip, cool, and happening, I find that I know less about swag than before. People like David Beckham and Brad Pitt have this so called swag. Even Lenny Kravitz, who made a marvelous return into my entertainment circle by appearing in the Hunger Games, has plenty of swag. It’s a quantified way of saying, someone is…see, I don’t know what it is. At first I thought swag was Stuff We All Get, which I used to actually get when I worked as a Video Game tester. I used to get swag all the time, so when I first heard it being used in the mainstream, I just figured it meant that everyone was getting cool little knickknacks and stuff. This is the face of a man who was apparently, very, very wrong.

While one set of people are embracing the world of swag, the other corners of the internet are so annoyed with the term, because it’s over used and apparently only used by young teens and douchbags. Of course, that’s from Urban Dicctionary, so take it for what it’s worth. But it obviously means something to someone. Actually it means something to a lot of someones. Yet this gets me no closer to what swag really is. Apparently, Dani the Unverse claims to have 41 swag. That’s a good thing right? I know there are at least three of you laughing at that. Anyway, so what does it all mean? I know, it’s taking me a long time to get to the answer, but mostly because everyone has a different answer. For me, and for the purpose of my own personal makeover, swag is a look, a style, a way of carrying yourself, a personality, and an air about someone that is genuinely likeable. A man other men want to be, and women want to be with. Well, that’s what I was told at least. Its confidence, assertiveness, and a glint in their eye that transcends language and culture. An unexplainable attraction that you just know someone has once you look at them. Not only do women desire them, but men in their own way desire that person as well. Then I learned that swag only applies to men. So gentlemen of the internet, do you think you have swag?

Then I have to assess myself, because I want to be that cool geek or that swag…guy. So when I think of how I am, I first focus on my look. Personally, I don’t know what’s wrong with my attire. I’m perfectly content in wearing my gamer t’s and my jeans and just going about my business. People have replied with, “Well, that’s why you’re single.” I suppose that’s true, because I haven’t found a woman who likes this look I guess. I don’t know if swag is something you can learn or even gain, but can I keep my way of dressing and still have that swagger? Is swagger even part of swag? When discussing swag and the geek community, the person I was talking with likened it to Steve Jobs, who supposedly had swag, and Bill Gates, who supposedly had none, despite his billions. Apparently Steve Jobs was able to rock the faux turtleneck, the crosstrainers, and the jean look and still come out as incredibly personable, likeable (for the most part), that people admired, respected, and again, wanted to be him. So maybe one can’t look swag, but one must act swag?

So maybe my interpretation of Swag is just being a genuinely fantastic person, who carries himself so well and has confidence up the ass, that the look doesn’t matter. Maybe swag is standing tall and and not caring that you may look ratty, because you are “the man”. A person who speaks their mind, an individual who was respected, and people wanted to be around them. I think it’s something that can’t be summed up by some actor, because I don’t think everyone sees “swag” in the same way. I may have even had a little swag at one point in my life, because I’ve had the experience of the ladies wanting me, and the gents wanting to be me, in an incredibly MINOR and unimportant way. Can I make this talk about something cool, and less cool? Did I nerd this up enough? Seriously, I have no swag.

Wow, okay, so in the middle of writing this thing, I find that it’s WHO you are that determines swag. If you’re a dick or a douchebag, you can look great, you can be charismatic all you want, but people will apparently see right through you. If you’re a quiet, shy, nice guy who doesn’t do anything to put himself out there, who doesn’t try to make an impact both in personality and in the relationships he builds, than apparently you have no swag either. It’s about being personable while remaining humble. Someone who does and says things that people want to emulate, not because you know people want to emulate you, but because it’s in your nature to be that kind of person. But let’s call it something else then, because I used that word approximately five thousand times in this blog post. I may just have to stick to my grab bag of movie posters, collectible keychains, and signed books, because I think that may be the closest I get to SWAG.